Abuse: Readers and surfers write: Questions,letters, venting and pleas for help from CyberParent readers.
Letters from Surfers.
My daughter recently turned 18 and has gotten involved with a 28year old man who has been married twice. He says his wives were crazy and that is the reason he is no longer married but we doubt him. He is trying to keep our daughter away from us and isolating her from the people who love her the most. She has quit college and sits in a mobile home all day waiting on him to return home from work. He has not allowed her to work. She does call occasionally and came to see us during Christmas but he will not talk with us or get involved with our family at all. We are just about crazy because this was the sweetest kindest child (who was also a virgin) prior to this man. We feel so helpless and do not know what to do. He has convinced her that she is an adult and we cannot intervene in their lives. We have even considered snatching her and taking her to a hospital but he will still be in town when she comes home. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Janet
I don’t know where to start, I am a single mother who decided to get a divorce after 9 yrs. of abuse. I where 2 hearing aids, and I was diagnosed with Manic Depression after the deaths of my parents both a month apart. I Married exactly a Month after my fathers death, I was a Postal Carrier, and had a lot going for me. The abuse started after the divorce I had a urinary track infection where I was peeing pure blood, my ex did not believe me, I was traveling at the time, when we arrived at our destination I had to ask my friend for a clear glass, and my ex went into the bathroom with me and I had to pee in front of him, this really did not matter to him. He refused me treatment. I then had a nervous break, my ex would constantly tell me not to go to the doctors that they just wanted my money. I ended up getting social security, I guess that hurt his pride. Things really started getting worse. I soon became pregnant I knew I would be the best parent around if nothing else. Through out my pregnancy as I grew he would not let me buy cloths, nor food for myself and the baby, he would tell me to just drink milk, and bread, that’s all I needed. The truth was he needed it for his drugs. Due to me being pregnant I had to get help so I told his parents, that was the worst thing I could have done. After the birth of my child I hemorrhaged twice again he did not want me to go to the doctors, I finally went and had to have emergency surgeries. I bled for approximately 10 months after that and ended up having to have a hysterectomy. As my Child started growing I knew he could not talk right again I would consult with my husband only to here him say, the Dr. just want your money, My son developed warts on his feet may 3 at first still, the same old story. I finally got brave and took him to both the hearing dr. and to a podiatrist, my son had over 100 warts removed off his feet, and he had a very sever speech problem. I took him to an early learning center who had a speech therapist come to our house about 2 a week. As I started meeting friends, they would tell me my ex was making fun of my hearing, and they would ask why he didn’t help with the child, they also would try to talk to him about taking care of need before his drugs. I than developed a tumor in my breast, again he did not want me to have surgery, I did but the evening after the surgery he knocked my stitches out. I then knew the abuse was turning physical, I filed for divorce. I have sole custody of my child, now but after our house sold 4 years a go some man called me about land. I bought the land, and was set up, buy my ex husband, I have been to court over, and over again, I was arrested, I was followed, and Harassed to where I had to Move my brand new double wide off of the land. I Paid cash to one man, and received a deed from another man., and had an option logged at the court house for another part of the land in which the switched it into someone else’s name, and tried to get me for criminal trespassing. I do have a civil suit against these people. Then I received 2 letters from the health department that my child had a hearing problem, I took him to Ky. School for the Deaf. Yes he does have a hearing problem I had to get a court order because my ex husband refuses to let him where his hearing aids. They get him Barbi dolls for Christmas; they tell him he need baby pull-ups, and are also very verbally mean to him. I think to get back at me. My child is 9, and he tells me if he has to live with his dad he will kill himself. Again I thought this was serious. We went to court again, but when it came time to go to court, I received an affidavit stating he was fighting for custody, because of my manic depression, Can any one lead me to the right person for help, I do know one thing, They say there’s not no such thing as a perfect parent, but I can say I am sure close to one.