Abuse: Letters and speaking out about abuse from readers and surfers.
Letters from Readers.
Any Laws Against Verbal Abuse?
Is verbal abuse finally being recognized yet like physical abuse is? What laws are there protecting the mother and children?
Dear CyberParent, I recently read your article on Verbal Abuse and, sadly, couldn’t help but to relate it to my own life. I have a son of seven months whose father I have been separated from since I found out I was pregnant. I am finding myself in the situation where his parents, of course, do not believe their son is capable or even is being verbally abusive. Like many other women or men in this situation, I am finding the hardest thing to do is to admit to myself that I am being verbally abused.
However, I am now picking up the pieces of my life, while trying to raise my son to be compassionate to others, rather than to be vindictive. I want to thank you for your wonderful article educating others on verbal abuse as it is, unfortunately, common.
If you have any additional information on this topic I would be interested in learning more. Thank you for your informative article and any additional information, Sincerely, J. K., Canada
May Be Abused
I am in Texas, in my mid-forties, married to a professional man. I suspect there may be some emotional abuse in my relationship at home.
I am fighting, tooth-and-nail, to return to college, after living very isolated for about ten years. I am grateful for being able to stay home with the children when they are young. They are now teenagers, and I have to have something for myself, now that they are older.
My husband moved us out in the country about ten years ago, and I have felt very isolated. Since I have returned to college, it has been a major battle! My husband wants me to remain home, "doing my job" and performing my "responsibilities" at home. I have scarified many friendships and even my relationship with my mother, because my mom and I feel that my husband has a problem with this. (He grew up in a very controlled environment.)
I am doing very well at school–I have extremely high grades, have made plenty of friends with fellow students and professors. Going back to school has really boosted my self-esteem.
I have had stress from home, and then my dad died last semester (out of town) and I had to take care of his funeral and business, in addition to college. I looked at your checklist on emotional abuse, and most of these are happening in our marriage! I have recently been diagnosed with spastic colon (colitis) and I feel it is due to stress! Due to your webpage, I may seek some emotional support in the form of counseling. I printed your webpage for a reference. I thought it might make your day if you knew how much your webpage helped me.
Thank you! CG
P.S. My husband has also followed me to college "to check up on me," to be sure that I was where I was "supposed to be." Maybe you should add to your checklist "follows spouse everywhere and wants to know where she is at all times–makes her accountable to him every minute!" He has also intercepted my e-mail at his office!
I would like to offer a bit of feedback. Verbal abuse is a real problem in that there are no laws regarding it, no real penalties involved. There is a lot more of it than most people would suspect.
While I appreciated the information presented, I feel there is something you have overlooked: the fact that verbal abuse can come from a woman just as easily as a man.
Your article is slanted toward the woman being abused by a man, implying that men are always the abusers. This is just not so. Take it from someone who is married to a bitterly abusive woman. Sadly we have three kids, so kicking her out is really not an option…
You want to see it in action? Pick up your remote and watch "Cybill" or "Murphy Brown" some time. Great comedy to watch a woman hack down a man’s ego, huh?
Abuse knows no bounds, not gender or race or religion or any other thing you can imagine. PN