How do your combine two families to make a blended family rather than operating a continuous blender? |
I'm sure you have heard that over 50% of the
children of the US are being raised in blended families now. Some people
have that figure as high as 65%. That's right, I wrote 65% blended
families.
And we have all heard tales of the wicked stepmom or the overbearing stepdad. In fact, I don't think I know anyone whose life has not been touched in some way by a blended family. Have you also heard that children are the cause of divorce in over 50% of second/third marriages? Maybe you have, and now it's you. You're soon to be a step-parent! Frightening, isn't it? How do your start a blended family?Do you all join hands and jump into the water, hoping everyone can swim? That's a good way to drown as a stepfamily. The most important part of becoming a stepparent is the prior planning you and your partner do before the wedding. 1. The adults need to agree in advance about discipline. Just like a journalist, answering who, what, when, where, and how is a good place to start with your discipline plan. 2. Then agree on all acceptable behavior for children, including the rules for your home and the consequences of breaking those rules. 3. Realize that each adult must support the other. No giving in or allowing children to manipulate the rules. Manipulation and inconsistency guarantee that you will have a "blender" family instead of a "blended" family. 4. Explain the rules. After the adults are in agreement, it is time for the children to have the new regime and the new rules explained to them. |
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