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Blended Family: All families, blended families included, have rules, limits, laws and ways of enforcing family rules. |
Family Site
Since 1997 |
Blended Family |
Blended Family Rules and Dynamics. |
Pat McChristie |
Blended Family: The laws of the clans or the family rules. All families have ways of enforcing rules, limits, and the laws of their clan. |
Rules are limits on what we can and can't do in a family. Every family knows its own rules. Taube Kaufman in her book The Combined Family says that enforcing rules (limits) is one of the most important functions of parents. She writes, "Limits serve as boundaries, like the walls in a room. They can be bounced against, but they will remain standing. It is these same kinds of boundaries, or limits, that children need while they are growing up." Rules are internalized and affect our behavior and feelings long after we have left home. Some rules may prevent a family from functioning as well as it can. For example: A rule to suppress anger does not keep people from becoming angry. But it does assure that any one who shows anger in a family setting has broken the family rule. Other rules which were once necessary or appropriate remain in place far past their usefulness. Families strive to maintain the status quo. This perpetuation gives the family strength and the security of continuity by telling us who we are and why. Status quo can also be stagnating. We need both innovations and maintenance of the status quo. Families remain forever caught between the inevitability of change and the resistance to that change. Divorce or death, of course, is a major family change. Families usually view divorce as the end of the family and some view death in the same manner. However, that is not so. The family endures. It changes, some of the rules even change, but it endures. Even in divorced. blended or widowed families, there are dynamics that continue. Single parent families operate in many of the same ways that two parent families do. |
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CyberParent Recommended Reading for More Information: |
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| Blended Family Roots | Family Factors | Myth: Blended Family Equals Instant Famil |
| Introducing Blended Families | Second Marriages with Children | Discipline for Blended Families. |
| Blended Family | Blended or Blender? | New Stepparent: Now What? |
| Stages in Blended Family | Family Rules and Dynamics | Building Kinship |
| Six Common Blended Family Conflicts | Stepfathers: A fact of life in America today. | Stepparents Feel Isolated in Blended Family |
| Book Review: The Blended Family Sourcebook | Book Review: Blending Families |
| Book Review: The Courage to Be a Stepmom | Book Review: Divorce and New Beginnings |
| Book Review: Stepcoupling | Book Review: Step Wars |
| Book Review: Step Wise | Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents. |
| Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic | Book Review: Boundaries |
| Book Review: The Combined Family | Book Review: Living in a StepFamily |
| CD Review: Pick Me Up | DVD Review: The Happiest Baby on Block |
| VHS Review: Baby See 'n Sign | VHS Review: Sign with Your Baby |
| VHS Review: The Wiggles-20 Videos |
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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.