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In his book 1-2-3 Magic, Training Your Child to Do What You Want, Thomas Phelan adds a twist to time-out that works in most families that try it. It is an extremely effective discipline form and also a very fair on. According to Phelan, you must first rid yourself of an erroneous idea about children known as the "little adult assumption." Kids are not little adults; they are kids. Explanations, persuasions, and logical reasoning usually have little or no effect on children. They simply do not respond to reasons and explanations like adults do. |
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| Second, you must determine if you have a stop-behavior
problem, such as arguing, tantrums, and teasing, or if you have a start-behavior
problem, such as going to or rising from bed, eating, and doing homework or chores.
The 1-2-3 counting system is used to deal with stop-behavior problems like
whining, arguing, temper tantrums and the like. It is not used to get children to clean
their room, rake the leaves, or finish their homework.
Third, remember that children often feel small and inferior because they are smaller and more inferior than adults. Therefore, if they can arouse an emotion in parents, such as anger, excitement, or some other feeling, they have "scored" with an adult. They often enjoy the temporary power the emotions and attention that "scoring" bring. |
