There are several good ways to explain the rules in a blended family. Here are a few of this frightening but necessary step for a blended family..
Explaining the Rules in a Blended Family
How do your explain the rules of the new blended family? It has to be done.
After the adults are in agreement about the new family, it is time for the children to have the new regime and the new rules explained to them.
How do you do this?
Parents can discuss upcoming changes with their children in details appropriate to their age. In all situations, however, it should be clear from the beginning that the adults are deciding which changes will be made.
Who Is Present at the Rules Explanation?
Parents: You may both want to be present when this is discussed, allowing the biological parent to do the talking. Or you may choose a one-on-one situation.
Children: If more than one child is involved, you may want each child to have a personal, one-on-one explanation.
You may also prefer to have all children from one biological family together and then all children from the other biological family together.
The biological parent can explain to his/her children, that although love is not necessary for the new parent in the blended family, respect and cooperation are mandatory. Clearly state that the new spouse or partner is to be treated in a courteous manner.
The best practice here is repeat, repeat, and repeat. End with having all children present while both parents together explain the rules.
Are you finished now?
Now the power struggle begins with the children and maybe even with the parents.
Blended families are rarely made in heaven. In fact, there will be problems while affection and bonding are growing.
Every blended family has its ups and downs. From sullen teen-agers to former spouses who would never dream of cooperating with anyone, you’ll find life in a blended family is challenging.
Go slow. You will not be a family in one day or possibly even in one year. Many experts say it can take three years or longer!
Persistence is the key. A blended family is a long-term commitment.
CyberParent Recommended books for Blended Families:
If you cultivate patience, concentrate on the positive, and keep your sense of humor, you, too, can become an effective and loving stepmom or stepdad. But setting the ground rules first will goa long way to making your new blended family successful.
Note: The opinions expressedherein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect theposition of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of ahealth, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.