The friendship factor in getting closer to the peopleyou love and care about.
Book Review by Jan Wilson
The Friendship Factor: How to get closer to the people you care for.
by Alan Loy McGinnis
At the heart of each relationship is the friendship factor–the essential ingredient of warmth and caring.
Alan McGinnis, pastor and counselor, points out that friendship is the basis of every intimate relationship. People with no friends normally have a diminished capacity for sustaining any kind of love because friendship is the model for all intimate encounters.
Women have more friends than men because men have been conditioned to avoid the openness and vulnerability of a friendship. Consequently, this behavior stunts their ability to have any close relationship, even with women. For the most part, men’s friendships revolve around activities (an occasional tennis partner) while women’s revolve around closeness.
Even an introverted, shy person can have close friends. Friendship has nothing to do with being an introvert or an extrovert. It has everything to do with realizing that love is something you do!
McGinnis says there are five ways to deepen your relationships and tells you how to apply these ways to your life. From assigning top priority to closeness, to disclosing your inner self (when and how), to communicating warmth, the author covers deep relationships.
He also gives five guidelines for cultivating intimacy such as touching, affirming, and conversing. No one can always be strong and have an intimate relationship with another person.
He also covers what to do when friendships go bad. From loyalty, to forgiveness, to ways to salvage a faltering relationship, McGinnis covers friendship quickly and thoroughly. His case histories and anecdotes make it easy to understand how to be a more loveable person and cash in on the satisfactions of friendships.