Book Second Marriage Success Long

Making Your Second Marriage a First-Class Success.

If you want to avoid making your samemistakes in each relationship, you start by knowing yourself and becoming moreemotionally mature yourself.

Book Review by Pat McChristie

Making Your Second Marriage a First-Class Success

by Douglas and Naomi Moseley

Moseley’s law of attraction reads, "We are attracted to partners who are about equally matched with us in terms of emotional maturity." Moseley’s corollary to the law of attraction says, "If you want to avoid mistakes in intimacy, don’t avoid yourself."

The authors, who specialize in couples therapy, write that singles attract each other when they have approximately the same emotional maturity. Their subsequent marriage breaks down because each partner has difficult aspects that cause problems when they arise. 

The Moseleys emphasize that changing partners without changing self often dooms the second  relationship, too.

The first four steps for a successful second marriage include:

1. Partners know themselves and heal themselves before marrying again.

2. Partners discover, then express, their own wants and needs.



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3. Partners are honest about personal values early in the relationship.

4. Partners learn the other partner’s needs and then learn how to satisfy them.

But… The Moseleys not only stress knowing yourself and avoiding the same mistakes, they give you the wherewithal to do it.

The second marriage also brings past baggage so the authors examine ways to deal with ex-spouses and in-laws, stepchildren, finances, and the all-important prenuptial agreements.


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The chapter about money and money fears alone is more than worth the price of the book.

Although this book does address some problems that are unique to a second marriage for one or both partners, most of the book applies to all relationships. It is also an excellent book to read after the divorce and before beginning to date again.

Book Review: Copyright © 2002 SOLO for Singles. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.


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