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Six quick insights into this remarkable book: 1. It is written for couples who have been together for several years, for couples who are marrying for the second time, and for any individual who seeks knowledge in improving a relationship, marriage, or other affiliation. 2. Although it is a book written for couples who are seeking to make a committed relationship truly satisfying through sexual intimacy, it is also about you and how you relate to others. 3. It is as much about intimacy as sex but the result is deeply intimate and fulfilling marital sex plus an improved relationship intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. 4. Unfortunately, the book itself is poorly organized which can make slow reading in spots. Fortunately, the book is worth the trouble it takes to read it. 5. The sexual language is graphic so be prepared. 6. The content is superb. It inspires you to grow and change in your self and your relationship, even if you are resistant to change. |
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The author points out that having marital problems is not a failure, but is an inevitability of being in this type of relationship. Schnarch also says the entire point of sex is an emotional and intimate connection that provides contact and facilitates growth in a relationship. At the heart of Dr, Schnarch's book is the concept of "differentiation" or emotional maturity. Self-differentiation" is a term used to describe persons whose sense of worth is not dependent on external relationships or circumstances without a withdrawal of the self from the marriage or sexual relationship. He makes the point that life is never safe or secure, particularly when we're dependent on a reflected sense of self. When we don't stop when we're scared or uncomfortable, we grow by going into the unknown. |
