Childdivorce

When your children divorce.

When your children divorce, your grandchildren need you more than ever.

Grandparenting

When Your Children Divorce

  Jill Curtis 

We’re getting a divorce’ are words all parents dread to hear from their married son or daughter. Yet when your children divorce, your grandchildren need you more than ever.

 

We’re getting a divorce’ are words all parents dread to hear from their married son or daughter.

A hundred thoughts and questions flash across the mind. Why? Why now? Oh! no, and almost certainly if there is a family, what about the children?

As the number of divorces increases, so do the number of ‘divorced’ parents and grandparents. The fall out from divorce affects so many people – not only the couple and their children, but the rest of the family and friends too.

In one fell swoop dreams that a parent had for their child can come tumbling down. A young family – which seemed so secure from the outside – about to fall apart? What will it mean? And, more ominously, what will it mean for the grandparents? After a divorce, where do the grandparents fit it?

For some, it will mean almost immediately more ‘hands on’ contact with the grandchildren. A lone mother or father may need to find work or work longer hours, and grandparents if living nearby, may be called to care for the children some of the time. That may be a mixed blessing, delight at being with the grandchildren, weighed against the shattered peace of retirement, or as grandparents who are younger and still working find, they are once again juggling work with school hours and holidays.

 

After a divorce, where do grandparents fit in? To help take extra good care of the grandchildren as the parents go through  rough times.
  

 

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A ‘weekend’ parent may find solace in bringing the child to the grandparent’s home, and it is there that the continuity and stability of the grandparents can bring support to any family which is breaking apart. A wise grandparent keeps in mind, though, that the immediate task is to support the mother or father during this time, so that they in their turn can parent their children whilst they are all going through a very difficult time. The urge to ‘take over’ the children must not be allowed to cloud an already complicated scene. Also a desire to criticize the ‘other’ parent must be avoided. However a parent has behaved, to a child they are still ‘my mom’ and ‘my dad’.

Continued

Jill Curtis – a psychotherapist and grandmother – author of:

Making and Breaking Families – the Way Ahead for Parents and their Children

Where’s Daddy? – Separation and Your Child.

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Links to divorce articles and information if you want to pass along divorce information to your child:
Divorce 
Single Men  
Single Women  
Profiles 

 

Outstanding Links
Singles Profiles
Connections
Dating Web
Dating Again
Dating Tips 
Dating with Kids 
Dinner-Match 
Earth Singles  Intimacy-Opposite Sex 
Local Singles Webs
Loneliness 
Love Poems & Quotes
 
Lying and Dating
Relationships
Safely Single
Self-Esteem
Shy 
Single Rose
Single Seniors

Singles Meet 
Singles Store
SOLO for Singles 
Speed Dating  
Suddenly Single

Abuse 
Alternative Medicine

Baby’s Sign Language

Be a Matchmaker 
Birthday Book 
Blended Family
Books
Boys: Parenting
Breast Feeding 
Choose Personal Matchmaker
Communication
Discipline Your Child
Divorce
Dr. Luv
Eating Healthy
Esteem for Children
Family
Fitness
Friendship
Gender Understanding 
Games for Kids
 

Gifts
 
Gifts for Men

Girls: Parenting
Grandparents
Heart Express
  
Holistic Health
 
Homefront
Kids’ Activities 
Intimate Lovers
Love & Chemistry 
Love & Marriage  
Men 
Music & More Music

Nutrition
Organic Garden

Organic Food

Parenting 
Rainforest 
Recipes 
Romance 
Second Marriage
Seniors

Shopping Place 
Single Parents
Spoiling Infants
Sports & Recreation
Stepparents
Stress 
Teach Kids Right/Wrong
 
Teens: by/for teens   
Toys for Kids

Traveling
Travel with Kids 
Ultra Music 
Wedding
Wheels
Women
You
DFW e-MAG
Living Tips Beauty Tips 
Dating/Meeting Tips for Singles 
Happiness 
Love & Romance Tips 
Lunchbox Notes 
Math/Science Fun for Kids Stay in Touch with  Kids-Grandkids 
Free Newsletters
CyberParent 
Singles 
GrandParenting
Earth Friends 
DFW Happenings 
 

 

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GrandParents Web Directory. Table of Contents. Generation Gaps Live Again.
Letters from Surfer Grandparents. Open-Minded in Changing World. April Fool’s Letter to Grandkids.
Grandparents as Mentors. Depression and Grandkids. Joy of Reading.
Time: There is Never Enough. Subscribe to Free Grandparenting eNewsletter, Bonding with Grandkids.
Grandparents’ Birthday Book: A Great (Free) Gift! Grandparenting and Aging Table of Contents. Value and Cultural Differences.
Grandparents Seeking Advice from Others. Graceful Aging Starts Early. Getting Grandchildren to Obey Rules  at Your House.
What Did You Name Your Grandparents? Rules for Graceful Aging. Sharing Ideas: Staying in Touch.
More Names of Grandparents. Reversing Heart Disease. When You Were Little…
Grandchildren. Avoiding Chronic Diseases. Grandparenting.
Grandparents’ visitation rights: Table of Contents. Avoiding Heart Disease, High Blood Pressure, Osteoporosis, Diabetes. Entertaining Visiting Grandchildren:  Table of Contents for All Ages.
Grandchild’s Right to Visitation. Avoiding Cancer. Grandkids Funtime: Ages 3-5.
Alternatives to court. Stress and Aging. Grandkids Funtime: Ages 5-8.
Going to court for visitation Depression and Aging. Grandkids Funtime: Ages 8-12.
If all else fails… Rocking Chair and Aging. Grandkids Funtime: Ages 12-15.
Divorce: You, your children, their children: 
Table of contents.
Grandparents Using Time-Out for Discipline:
Table of Contents.
Grandkids Funtime: Ages 15 and up.
Grandchildren of Divorce Have Moral Rights. Timeout Defined. Grandkids & Frankenfoods
Table of Contents
.
Stepping In After Divorce. Timeout Information. What Is Genetic Engineering?
When Your Children Divorce. Timeout Locations. What Are Potential Benefits/Risks?
Camping with Grandkids: Table of Contents. Timeout and Ages of Children. Promises and Realities of GMOs.
Make Your Home a Summer Camp. Timeout for the Active Child. Environmental Concerns.
Camping with Grandkids. To Grandfather’s House We Go: Table of Contents. Grandparents Raising Grandkids: Table of Contents.
Checklist for Camping. Nana’s & Poppy’s Week. Role of Grandparent Raising Grandchild.
News. Activities for Kids at Grandparents’ Home. At Grandma’s House We Stay.

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