Grandparents and Time-out:Choose your time-out location in advance of the time you needit. Remember that for the time-out penalty to be effective, it must be unpleasantfor your grandchild. Also, timeout does not work well after you have lost yourtemper and/or yelled at the child. You need to be calm yourself when administering atimeout.
Time-Out Location. A Discipline Series.
A restroom or even your car will work for a time-out location in a public place. Don’t leave your grandchild alone in a public place during the time-out period.
Remember that for the time-out penalty to be effective, it must be unpleasant for your grandchild. Also, timeout does not work well after you have lost your temper and/or yelled at the child. You need to be calm, cool , and collected yourself when administering a timeout.
Also keep in mind that you are not trying to frighten your grandchild into submission. You are trying to:
Put an immediate halt to an inappropriate behavior.
Take away something (freedom and attention) that your child wants.
Choose your time-out location in advance of the time you need it. When a grandchild is misbehaving, you want to be able to stop the behavior immediately, not make a decision about where to send the child.
1. Choose a location where you can send your grandchild every time you must invoke time-out.
2. Choose a boring spot away from all action and any attention from other family members.
3. Choose a location that can be reached quickly.
Try not to use the following places:
Basements or dark closets: These places are too scary to be used for timeout.
Kitchens or bathrooms: Too many potentially dangerous objects in these areas, such as knives, poisons, hot water, etc.
The child’s bedroom: It’s never a good idea to reinforce the idea that there is something bad about the bedroom. You also don’t want to associate punishment with a place your grandchild sleeps at your home.
When visiting others, use a porch, a hallway, or the back yard.
A restroom or even your car will work in a public place.
Don’t leave your grandchild alone in a public place. Although you’ll still ignore him and withhold your attention, keep him well in sight.
If your grandchild suffers from separation anxiety when you leave her, use a time-out spot that is not isolated from you. Again, you are not trying to scare your child, only provide him/her with a place to get unacceptable behavior under control.
If your child is nearing the teen years, you might want to invest in another good book by Thomas Phelan, Surviving Your Adolescents. Phelan has also written about self-esteem in children and dealing with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD or ADHD). His combined knowledge allows him great insight into teens. In the book on adolescence, Dr. Phelan gives a step-by-step approach that helps end hassles while allowing parents and children to keep their self-respect. This book abounds with concrete solutions to life with a teen-ager.
It is also available in cassette for those of us who need to save time.
Large Play Mats roll-up for storage between grandkids’ visits.