Develop Marriage Intimacy

Develop Non-Sexual Intimacy in This Second Marriage.

Second Marriage: Develop more than bedroom intimacy in your second marriage.

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Second Marriage 

Develop Non-Sexual Intimacy in This Marriage.

Richard Sides

Second Marriage: The Cleavers were partially intimate, sharing some parts of their lives but not others.

Step into your favorite time warp, and take a look into the family on Leave It To Beaver.

Wally and the Beeve are in their rooms doing their homework.

Ward (Dad) comes home, and June (his loving wife) asks him about his day. He tells her about work as she listens attentively.  

She then proceeds to tell him what went on around the house and updates him on some neighborhood gossip as he listens attentively.

They talk about the boys for a while, and after dinner they set aside a little intimate time alone. 

Now, let’s step back into reality and re-examine the Cleavers and this intimacy thing.

Their bedroom intimacy is the only kind of intimacy some couples have or can relate to in a relationship.

That’s a shame, because life should offer a lot more intimacy than that! 

In the bedroom Ward and June were sharing, aware of, and meeting each other’s needs. There was an interdependency and some history there.

The same thing was also true of their conversation about the boys. They shared a desire that the boys would not grow up to be Eddie Haskell; they knew things about the boys no one else knew; they had mutually sacrificed for the boys; …..they were intimate. 

That work-related conversation was not intimate. June listened out of duty or maybe respect, but not because she was truly interested.

Ward’s  work was his world, and she didn’t share it with him. She didn’t know the "players in the game." She couldn’t truly appreciate his worry about small defeats, or really share his thrill over daily victories.

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All that happened in a world she only viewed from the outside, as an observer. His work was not an area of intimacy.  

Ward tried to look interested in the gossip, but could not have cared less. After all, he didn’t even know the names of those neighbors, much less care about their petty fight.

Another area of non-intimacy.  

So the Cleavers were partially intimate, sharing some parts of their lives but not others.

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Reprinted with permission: SOLOfor Singles.

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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professional whose advice you might need to seek.