Q 20 20A3

Questions and Answers about Stepparenting and support.

Support is important in blending families. Questionsfrom and about stepparents and stepparenting..  Just by loving and being loved we canhelp our stepchildren. But is that enough?

Stepparents’ Q & A

Questions asked by many stepparents and some quick answers.

WHAT MAKES FOR A SMOOTH TRANSITION?

Parents who support each other and who are consistent. Consistent: easy to say, hard to do. Plan some time as a family and some time alone with the biological child.

If you are the new stepparent, realize that the children already have a mom and a dad. Don’t ever expect to take the place of a parent. If you don’t expect that you won’t be disappointed when you don’t.

When the biological parent leaves children with the new stepparent, the parent should make certain the children understand the stepparent is in charge. It is dangerous for the child and the marriage, when the person who is taking care has no authority or his or her discipline is undermined.

For example, biological dad and stepmom:

Child says: "You’re not my mother and I don’t have to mind you."
This can be stopped by the biological father saying, "She is not your mother, but she is my wife, and she is your caretaker. You do have to respect her and mind her when you are in our house or care."


IT’S EASY TO SAY WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD DO TO HAVE A HEALTHY FAMILY LIFE; BUT IN REALITY, PRACTICING  WHAT IS PREACHED ISN’T ALWAYS SO EASY. MANY PEOPLE ARE JUST SURVIVING THE BEST WAY THEY KNOW HOW. WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY IS IT TO INITIATE POSITIVE PARENTING? 

It is the responsibility of the biological parent in theory. However, in reality, it is the responsibility of both parents if they want their marriage to succeed and be happy. In my experience, I have seen the stepfather, the nonbiological parent, seemingly make more effort than the natural mother, to be a positive influence in the lives of his new stepsons.


WHAT IS IT IMPORTANT FOR ADOLESCENT CHILDREN TO UNDERSTAND WHEN THEIR PARENTS GET DIVORCED?
They did not cause the divorce. Both parents still love them. Their needs as a family and as a teen will still be met.


 

More Q & A

CyberParent Recommended Gifts for Kids and Step Children


Review All Rescue Heroes


 Rush Hour Board Game-Puzzle
Review Game | Buy Game
Buy Extra Cards


My First Words Matching Game 
Review Game
Buy Game


Buy
bus  
Review pop-up bus


Buy this truck 
Review All Trucks

Review Ready Bed with easily inflatable mattresses for stepkids’ visits or popular gifts.

Buy  doll house  
Buy AA

Review

Accessories

Buy this doll  Buy AA doll
Review

Accessories


Review All the Wiggles

Returnto Stepparents Directory.

Book Review:  The Blended Family Sourcebook Book Review:  Blending Families
Book Review:  The Courage to Be a Stepmom Book Review:  Divorce and New Beginnings
Book Review:  Stepcoupling Book Review:  Step Wars
Book Review: Step Wise Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents.
Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic
Book Review:  The Combined Family Book Review:  Living in a StepFamily

home.GIF (548 bytes)cyberparents.GIF (706 bytes)grandparents.GIF (701 bytes)single parents.GIF (712 bytes)stepparents.GIF (902 bytes)for kids only.GIF (692 bytes)for men only.GIF (887 bytes)for women only.GIF (918 bytes)leisure.GIF (564 bytes)lifestyles.GIF (851 bytes)relating.GIF (592 bytes)shopping place.GIF (737 bytes)table of contents.GIF (517 bytes)you.GIF (512 bytes)contact.GIF (627 bytes)

 

Contact
Copyright © 1997-2006 CyberParent. All rights reserved.
Certain images: Copyright © 1994-1996. T-Maker Company. All rights reserved.
Many photographs, letters, questions, answers, and items of advice in the StepParent Webwere submitted by our surfers. We thank you for participating.

Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professional whose advice you might need to seek.