Q 20 20A6

When parents remarry: Questions and answers for stepparents.

When parents remarry, there are questions from andabout stepparents and stepparenting..  Just by loving and being loved we can help ourstepchildren. But is that enough when you remarry?

Stepparents’ Q & A

Questions asked by many stepparents and some quick answers.

 

OFTEN, PEOPLE WHO REMARRY HAVE CHILDREN FROM PREVIOUS MARRIAGES. WHEN IT COMES TO CHILD REARING ISSUES SUCH AS CLEANING THE ROOM, HOUSEHOLD CHORES, CURFEW, ETC., PARENTS OFTEN DISAGREE ON WHAT TO DO. HOW CAN THIS ISSUE BE ADDRESSED?

Certain problems like those are common to every family. The parents, working alone or together, should make a list of issues, then discuss the issues and arrive at a decision. However, once the parents have decided, they should stick together, support each other, and  be consistent.. That is  in a perfect world, of course.


IN SOME LITERATURE I READ, THE DOCTOR RECOMMENDED PARENTS BE PLEASANT AND CHEERFUL DURING DISCUSSIONS OF CERTAIN ISSUES (REGARDING THE CHILDREN, DISCIPLINE, ETC.). IS THIS REALISTIC? NATURALLY IT’S A MORE POSITIVE SITUATION WHEN THERE IS NO YELLING OR INTENSE ARGUING, BUT IS IT HEALTHY TO DISGUISE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS, HOWEVER INTENSE, AT THE MOMENT?

I think everyone can benefit by calmness and  suggesting another time to discuss the issues when that time is available. However, when emotions subside, it is important to come back to the issues that caused the problems. It is not always possible to remain calm, of course. I heard some good advice at a real estate seminar of all places. Words are like milk, once they have left the bottle, they can never be put back.

When an emotional bout ends, remember to say, "I’m sorry, I love you, and we will work this out."

 

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