Stepkin

Stepkin: a family evolution.>

You can move through conflicts, be stepkin, and form the new American family of the 21st century.

Stepparents

Stepkin: An Evolution in America!
Parenting Your Step Family

Jan Wilson

A family is what we make it. Remember this as you move through the different stages of evolving a stepfamily and learn to get along with the ex or exes, the his, the hers, and possibly the ours of children, plus the cousins, the grandparents, the aunts, and the uncles.

Americans love fairy tales. Especially the one where Prince Charming and Cinderella live happily ever after. If that did not come true in the first marriage, well… we are often given another chance in a second one.

A blended family is begun when an adult, with at least one child from a previous marriage, forms a household with someone who has no ties to that child. Although that does not have to be a new spouse, for purposes of this article we are going to assume it is a new spouse.

This new household can be attached to a variety of people such as the "other" parent(s), possible new brothers and sisters, old in-laws and new in-laws,  old grandparents and new grandparents, etc. A virtual blender of people that evolves a new family of "stepkin."

Margaret Newman, registered psychologist,  in her book Stepfamily Realities, lists five stages in stepfamily growth. Each stage can, and probably will, be experienced with portions of other stages present, too. However, these stages represent the evolution of stepfamily life.

1. The Fantasy Stage.

Husband and wife feel all dreams of family life will finally come true. Stepsiblings may be looking forward to living together. There is idealism with everyone putting their best foot forward. In addition, the two parents are getting to know each other as mates. This is hard enough with no children present.

2. The Confusion Stage.

Differences begin to emerge and expected happiness is slipping away. Still, there is typically denial of impending trouble. Tension grows, romance wanes, children’s novelty has worn off, and fear of not making it rears its head.

3. The Conflict Stage.

Power struggles begin as family members want their needs met. Open or hidden expressions of anger and aggression appear.

 

You can move through conflicts, be stepkin, and form the new American family of the 21st century.

 

 

4. The Coming-Together Stage.

Relationships are becoming familiar, parts of the family are operating smoothly, and members are learning to resolve issues. Hope is renewed.

5. The Resolution Stage.

Optimism returns and the future looks better. Family members can relax and start to be themselves. Methods for resolving conflict have been learned and can be used as needed. Family ties are growing.

A family is what we make it.

Remember this as you move through the different stages of evolving a stepfamily and learn to get along with the ex or exes, the his, the hers, and possibly the ours of children, plus the cousins, the grandparents, the aunts, and the uncles.

You can move through conflicts, be stepkin, and form the new American family of the 21st century.

Additional information about stepparenting, stepfamilies.

Large Play Mats roll-up for storage between  rainy days or stepkids’ visits.


Review mat
| Buy mat


Review mat 
| Buy mat


Go Away Monster!
Board Game
Review game |
Buy game

Don’t Make Me Laugh, Jr Board Game
Review Game |
Buy Game


Zingo
Board Game
Review Game Buy Game


Tin box Version Cranium’s Cadoo, Family Game
Review game
| Buy game


Review Ready Bed with easily inflatable mattresses for grandkids’ visits or popular gifts with boy’s or girl’s favorite characters.

 

 

Outstanding Links
Singles Profiles
Connections
Dating Web
Dating Again
Dating Tips 
Dating with Kids 
Dinner-Match 
Earth Singles  Intimacy-Opposite Sex 
Local Singles Webs
Loneliness 
Love Poems & Quotes
 
Lying and Dating
Relationships
Safely Single
Self-Esteem
Shy 
Single Rose
Single Seniors

Singles Meet 
Singles Store
SOLO for Singles 
Speed Dating  
Suddenly Single

Abuse 
Alternative Medicine

Baby’s Sign Language

Be a Matchmaker 
Birthday Book 
Blended Family
Books
Boys: Parenting
Breast Feeding 
Choose Personal Matchmaker
Communication
Discipline Your Child
Divorce
Dr. Luv
Eating Healthy
Esteem for Children
Family
Fitness
Friendship
Gender Understanding 
Games for Kids
 

Gifts
 
Gifts for Men

Girls: Parenting
Grandparents
Heart Express
  
Holistic Health
 
Homefront
Kids’ Activities 
Intimate Lovers
Love & Chemistry 
Love & Marriage  
Men 
Music & More Music

Nutrition
Organic Garden

Organic Food

Parenting 
Rainforest 
Recipes 
Romance 
Second Marriage
Seniors

Shopping Place 
Single Parents
Spoiling Infants
Sports & Recreation
Stepparents
Stress 
Teach Kids Right/Wrong
 
Teens: by/for teens   
Toys for Kids

Traveling
Travel with Kids 
Ultra Music 
Wedding
Wheels
Women
You
DFW e-MAG
Living Tips Beauty Tips 
Dating/Meeting Tips for Singles 
Happiness 
Love & Romance Tips 
Lunchbox Notes 
Math/Science Fun for Kids Stay in Touch with  Kids-Grandkids 
Free Newsletters
CyberParent 
Singles 
GrandParenting
Earth Friends 
DFW Happenings 
 

 

CyberParent Recommended Gifts for Kids and Step Children


Review All Rescue Heroes


 Rush Hour Board Game-Puzzle
Review Game | Buy Game
Buy Extra Cards


My First Words Matching Game 
Review Game
Buy Game


Buy
bus  
Review pop-up bus


Buy this truck 
Review All Trucks

Review Ready Bed with easily inflatable mattresses for stepkids’ visits or popular gifts.

Buy  doll house  
Buy AA

Review

Accessories

Buy this doll  Buy AA doll
Review

Accessories


Review All the Wiggles

Returnto Stepparents Directory.

Book Review:  The Blended Family Sourcebook Book Review:  Blending Families
Book Review:  The Courage to Be a Stepmom Book Review:  Divorce and New Beginnings
Book Review:  Stepcoupling Book Review:  Step Wars
Book Review: Step Wise Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents.
Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic
Book Review:  The Combined Family Book Review:  Living in a StepFamily

home.GIF (548 bytes)cyberparents.GIF (706 bytes)grandparents.GIF (701 bytes)single parents.GIF (712 bytes)stepparents.GIF (902 bytes)for kids only.GIF (692 bytes)for men only.GIF (887 bytes)for women only.GIF (918 bytes)leisure.GIF (564 bytes)lifestyles.GIF (851 bytes)relating.GIF (592 bytes)shopping place.GIF (737 bytes)table of contents.GIF (517 bytes)you.GIF (512 bytes)contact.GIF (627 bytes)

Contact
Copyright © 1997-2006 CyberParent. All rights reserved.
Certain images: Copyright © 1994-1996. T-Maker Company. All rights reserved.
Many photographs, letters, questions, answers, and items of advice in the StepParent Webwere submitted by our surfers. We thank you for participating.

Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professional whose advice you might need to seek.