Hello my name is Jenny. I am 17 years old and I was in a relationship with a boy for two years and it was horrible. He called me names, told me I was worthless, wouldn’t let me see my friends, and other things. I don’t know why I stayed with him. He made me believe no one else would ever want me, he made me think everything was my fault. He called me names if I wore a dress or anything that didn’t cover my butt or didn’t cover my legs he said I was showing off. He got mad at me for saying hi to my friends so after awhile I lost all my friends. My parents made us stop seeing each other for awhile but he convinced me he has changed and I begged my parents to let me see him and they finally let me and nothing changed. He still had no respect for me at all. Finally my mom made us break up for good and it’s been about a month. I am so much happier. I used to cry everyday. I am starting to get my old friends back. My old boyfriend and I did have some good times but not many and every once in awhile I start to miss him but I guess it’s only natural. I have met a different boy and I realize how good I could be treated. I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I just need some friends right now to help me stay strong. Write me back.
Abuse by Boyfriend I would like to thank you for setting my mind at ease that I wasn’t just being too sensitive around my boyfriend. I was feeling completely frustrated, unwanted, and like everything I did was wrong. My boyfriend told me I was just being stupid, that he was just trying to "help me" by telling me what I was doing wrong. Well, this seemed to entail smacking my hands away from anything I was trying to do and doing it himself,and getting irritated when that upset me to the point of yelling at me and lurching/jumping at me to intimidate and startle me into a state of hysteria. I would go to a room to get away from him and he would come after me, throw the door open as hard as he could, pause a moment, and then stomp in to tell me I was "such a baby" (that was one of his favorite names to call me). If I was proud of something I had done and told him about it, he would always tell me all the things that were wrong with it. He would push me if I was in his way. I just got out of this relationship two weeks ago and have not told anyone what happened. I once again would like to thank your site for making me finally see the obvious, and get out. T.M., Canada
i am a 16 year old female, and not quite sure where to direct this letter. i’m under a constant assult of verbal abuse from my mother, always hearing about what a "loser" or "failure" i am, and having every bad thing thathappens to her projected on me. i know i’m not- i have done many outstanding things so far, and feel like i do not deserve this! but at the same time, inwardly i feel like i have lost any self esteem.
i am also not going to deny doing it back to her, and the increasing frequency of our fights are making me more and more afraid that i am going to carry on this pattern of verbal abuse in future relationships and in college. She tells me that these fights are "normal" for mothers and daughters, but something is telling me that it really isn’t. this has been going on for awhile, but has recently grown worse, and is occuring more often.
we have both went to a therapist, multiple times, and she is still going. when we first began meeting with our therapist around a year ago, i was hoping that things would improve. they did for a few months, but are now worse then ever. recently, the abuse got physical for the first time with us hitting eachother, me biting her shoulder, and her strangling me so that i had bruises on my neck.
at this point, i dont know what to do. i love my mother, yet hate her at the same time. i am not blaming her, because i mostly feel like i bring it on myself. at times our relationship is perfect, and she can act like my best friend. my friends all love her, and would hardly suspect any abuse-verbal or physical. ok, and after this long history of our relationship- here comes the questions…is this normal for a teenage girl and her mother? what is there to do? how can i stop this cycle so it doesnt carry on to other relationships???