Women write CyberParent. Questions,letters, venting and pleas for help from CyberParent readers.
Note: The opinions expressed hereinare exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position ofCyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professionalwhose advice you might need to seek.
Letters from Surfers
Questions, letters, venting and pleas for help from CyberParent readers.
I would be very grateful for some advice. I have been divorced for16years and have been responsible for my three sons. I had to struggle toget child support, etc. etc., but now my sons are 29 yrs. 27 yrs. & 24 yrs.My ex-husband was extremely irresponsible in many ways but worst of allwas his financial irresponsibility. He never felt that he should have topay bills and worse yet would lie when people would call and ask for apayment. The usual line would be ‘oh yes, I mailed a check today’, andwould lie to me also. It nearly drove me crazy and I finally asked for adivorce as there were many other issues.
Anyway, my oldest and youngest son have done very well and are extremelyresponsible. My middle son is quite the opposite and I feel that I amliving with my ex-husband again. He chose not to go to college and somehowfeels that it is okay just to move in here when things get rough. I amhappy to help my sons, but Christopher feels that when he moves in herethat it is my job to do ALL the work and does the ‘old’ twist the guilttrick. Quite honestly I have a long history with this son and he hascaused the family a GREAT deal of stress. He is presently living here andit is the same old same old.
He is completely irresponsible financially. I am at the end of my rope andneed some advice as it is affecting my health and I am walking aroundangry. The Christopher saga goes way back and I can go into detail if youcan help or advise where or who I should talk to. I am basically enablinghim and he is taking complete advantage of it and when I try to discussthis with him he gets very angry. I consider this mental abuse. I feellike selling my townhouse and moving into a one bedroom basement apt.My other sons are very upset and have tried to intervene but they havetheir own lives and live in Northern Virginia.
Note: The opinions expressedherein are exclusively those of the writers or other participants and do not necessarily reflect theposition of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of ahealth, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.