Marriage: Early History of Marriage and Women.

Women and Marriage: Marriage had to be the way it evolved for capitalism to prosper.

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Back to 1700s

Three centuries ago, England had no middle class. It was divided into:

The nobility
People who worked for the nobility.

Men and women were born into a social class. That class determined their marriage options and their entire lives.

There was no upward mobility for men or women through making money; no rags to castles through hard work. Fortune and class were the only games in town in England around 1700.

Lower down the social hierarchy, “good” was about work and survival. It had nothing to do with gender.

America was similar in that breeding and property were the qualities that made a good wife or husband.

In addition, these precapitalistic societies did not allow individuals, male or female, to operate separately from the clan, tribe, or community.

The nuclear family was merely part of a larger group. It had no real importance in the scheme of things. Individuality was feared and considered quite antisocial.

This meant that all relations were ambiguous. Ambiguous relationships require constant compromises to be successful.

Capitalism

Capitalism could not evolve under these conditions.

In fact, capitalism needed three features to grow:

1. Personal equality.
2. Individuals who were self-reliant rather than reliant on community, clan, or state.
3. Concrete contractual rights.

These traits were not compatible with a Society of compromising men and women.

Therefore, Society reorganized gender by assigning all dependence to women and the role of protecting women and children to men.

Boy children were protected in childhood but had to grow up ready to be the protectors by adulthood.

Evolves

Now capitalism could evolve.

According to family historians such as Stephanie Coontz, author of The Way We Never Were, American Families and the Nostalgia Trap, the following applied:

1. Equal rights set abstract laws above local customs.
2. Equitable procedures superseded the ever-changing desires and fancies of rulers.
3. Market exchanges grew more important.
4. The nuclear family superceded the community.

Men and women begin to “specialize” in one set of behaviors, skills, and feelings while suppressing those assigned to the other gender.

Men’s gender role included politics and economics. Relationships here were organized around the contractual rights of equal, independent individuals.

Only family relationships remained organized around personal needs and dependence, the sphere of women.

In short, men could be self-reliant and independent as long as women were dependent and nurturing. If women were domestic, men could be individualistic.

Coontz writes “This lead to a growing divergence between politics, law, and economics-the site of competition and objective laws, men’s arenas-and interpersonal relations-the site of altruism and subjectivity, women’s arenas. It also created a polarization between public rights and private needs that eventually hampered people’s ability to develop a responsible approach to either.”

These principles were supposed to balance and compliment each other.

Unfortunately, our Society begin to see independence as male, dependency and concern for others as female.

Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health or other professional whose advice you might need to seek.

For Women Only Directory	Letters from Women	Marriage and Women: Directory of Series:
Magic Pill	Work vs. Home Work	Why Are Women Leaving Marriage in Droves?
Loneliness	Women Need to Work	What's In Marriage for Women?
Happy Face	Women and Abuse	Why Is Marriage Unhappy for So Many Women?
I Should But I Can't	Questions for Brides	Early History of Marriage
Scents and Fragrances	Silent Contracts	19th Century Marriage
Sleep	Directory of Series: Men & Sex for women.	The 1950s Hangover!
Men and Women Talk	Men and Sex in Today's Society.	Crossroads for Marriage
Book Reviews	Men Use Sex to Connect.	Prince Who?
Martyrs and Mothers	Men Relate Through Sex.	Happy Wives Make Happy Husbands!
Are You Depressed?	Men & Sexual Rejections by Women	Random Thoughts on Marriage
Setting Limits in Relationships.	Male Sexual Attitudes, Fantasies, Masturbation.
Your Attitudes and Behaviors	Lust and Getting Lucky
Test Those Nagging Doubts About Your Relationship