Women: These five words can make you a victim: "I should but I can't.
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|Women and Issues of a Woman|
as Victims: "I Should but I Can't"
By Tom Duncan
Women: Probably no word can cause you to feel more guilt than the word "should." Women who remember they have a choice of attitudes are kept from being a victim.
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|Those five words can make you a victim.
Probably no word can cause you to feel more guilt than the word "should."
Usually, your "should-do," "have-to-do" and "need-to-do " situations all stem from your own choices. Yet, they seem so real, so necessary.
Now add the words "I can't" and you are suddenly a victim of your own choices.
"I can't" implies being helpless and a victim of something beyond your control.
In certain situations, you believe you can't because of certain characteristics that you have or think you have.
Dr. Richard Gillett in his book Change Your Mind, Change Your World writes, "The characteristics that we think we have are often no more than other people's observations of our past behavior. Once the generalization is made, we then make sure we behave according to the characteristic, which proves that we have that characteristic. Once we believe we have a characteristic, once we label ourselves, we become victims of the label and limit our free choice."
"I can't" is nothing more than a limiting belief.
But beliefs can be changed.
In the book Claiming Your Self-Esteem by Carolyn M. Ball, M.A., she writes the first step in creating change is to start where you are.
When you base your happiness on things being different from the way they actually are, you are giving away your power. You are actually reinforcing the belief that you do not have the resources to live life the way you want.
Things are the way they are. Feeling and thinking:
makes you a victim.
Change starts from where you are. This means you can't start where you want to start: you have to start where you are. Once you realize where you are, however, you can change from there.
Then you can start to change the "I can'ts" and ignore the "I shoulds." Those words that make you a victim.
Certainly, there are things in life that are beyond your control. For example, you can't be in two places at one time.
However, even then you have a choice of attitudes. That can keep you from being a victim.
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