Femalespeak

Female surfers speak out about abuse of women.

Abuse of Females: Speaking out about abuse against females from readers and surfers.

Abuse

Speaking Out About Abuse Against Females.

Females speak out about abuse against them.

Abuse by Boyfriend

I would like to thank you for setting my mind at ease that I wasn’t just being too sensitive around my boyfriend. I was feeling completely frustrated, unwanted, and like everything I did was wrong.

My boyfriend told me I was just being stupid, that he was just trying to "help me" by telling me what I was doing wrong. Well, this seemed to entail smacking my hands away from anything I was trying to do and doing it himself, and getting irritated when that upset me to the point of yelling at me and lurching/jumping at me to intimidate and startle me into a state of hysteria.

I would go to a room to get away from him and he would come after me, throw the door open as hard as he could, pause a moment, and then stomp in to tell me I was "such a baby" (that was one of his favorite names to call me).

If I was proud of something I had done and told him about it, he would always tell me all the things that were wrong with it.

He would push me if I was in his way.

I just got out of this relationship two weeks ago and have not told anyone what happened.

I once again would like to thank your site for making me finally see the obvious, and get out. T.M., Canada

Abuse by Husband

Most people think I have a very perfect marriage. In some ways, I think so myself.

My husband is a good provider who not only works at his job, he helps me cook and clean.

He is also a wonderful father who really takes time to be with the kids. He wants me to stay home with them until the youngest is in school.

How could I be so lucky??

Except…

My husband likes to keep people (not just me but everyone who is in our life) guessing or just a little off-center or doubting themselves. I often feel a little off-center myself from things that he does or says.

Now I realize that is abuse or his attempt to control the people who are important to his life.

I am going to suggest marriage counseling. If he does not agree to it (and I doubt if he will), I will get counseling myself and go from there.

Thanks for this website. It certainly opened my eyes.

RY

Abuse by Dad

Thank you so much for the article "I love you, but."

My dad has done that to everyone in our family for as long as I can remember.

Sometimes I love my dad and sometimes I really hate him. I guess that is normal for someone my age.

I am 15 now.

But sometimes he just makes me feel bad, especially when he says, "You know, I love you, A___, but you are…" or "I love you, but I wish you…"

Now that I know this is a way to control me, I can take it more with a grain of salt.

Or at least I hope I can. It still stings for him to say things like that.

AJ

Additional information about abuse and being abused.

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