New Step In Blended Famly

His-and-Her Blended Families with Stepparents.

Blended Families: You’re soon becoming a step-parent! A somewhat frightening endeavor, especially if you’re adding a child or two yourself, making a blended family.

Blended Family

New Stepparent in Your Blended Family.

Joy Stevens

In blended families, first and foremost, new stepparents need to agree in advance about discipline. So cometh the soon-to-be new stepparent!

It’s true. You’re soon becoming a step-parent!

A somewhat frightening endeavor, especially if you’re adding a child or two yourself, thus making a his-and-hers blended family. The most important part of becoming a stepparent is the prior planning you and the biological parent do before the wedding.

First and foremost, the adults need to agree in advance about discipline. Who, what, when, where, and how is a good place to start with your discipline plan.

After you have agreed upon discipline, agree on rules for your home. In fact, agree on all acceptable behavior and the consequences of behavior that is not acceptable.

After the adults have agreed, it is time for the children to have the new regime and the new rules explained to them.

The second most important aspect of a blended family is that each adult support the other. No giving in or allowing children to manipulate the rules. Manipulation and inconsistency guarantee that you will have a "blender" family instead of a "blended" family.

Parents should discuss upcoming changes with their children in detail appropriate to their age. But it should be clear from the beginning that the adults are deciding which changes will be made.

The best stepparent in the world is probably not going to saunter into an immediate loving and grateful situation. However, the biological parent should explain to the children, that although love is not necessary for the stepparent, respect and cooperation are mandatory. Make it clear to your children that you expect your new spouse to be treated in a civil manner.

If you are the biological parent, explain that this is your new husband or wife, not a potential father or mother. Tell them also that if love happens, that will be wonderful and make you and your new husband/wife very happy. But in the meantime, respect is the order of the day.

CyberParent Recommended books for Blended Families:

Buy book Buy CD Buy Spanish Edition Buy Teachers’ Edition

Every blended family has its ups and downs. From sullen teen-agers to former spouses who would never dream of cooperating with anyone, you’ll find life in a blended family is challenging.

Go slow. You will not be a family in one day or possibly even in one year. Many experts say it can take three years or longer!

Persistence is the key. Stepfamilies are a long-term commitment.

If you cultivate patience, concentrate on the positive, and keep your sense of humor, you, too, can become an effective and loving stepmom or stepdad. But setting the ground rules first will go a long way to making your new family successful.

Additional information about stepparenting, stepfamilies.

What say you? Send your experiences that support or negate this article. Cut and paste the URL of this article as the top line of your reply to be positive we get your experience with the correct article! We will not use a full name or an email address online. CyberParent will publish as many replies as possible. CyberParent does reserve the right to edit or delete replies.

CyberParent Recommended Reading for More Information: Blended Family Roots Family Factors Myth: Blended Family Equals Instant Famil Introducing Blended Families Second Marriages with Children Discipline for Blended Families. Blended Family Blended or Blender? New Stepparent: Now What? Stages in Blended Family Family Rules and Dynamics Building Kinship Six Common Blended Family Conflicts Stepfathers: A fact of life in America today. Stepparents Feel Isolated in Blended Family Book Review: The Blended Family Sourcebook Book Review: Blending Families Book Review: The Courage to Be a Stepmom Book Review: Divorce and New Beginnings Book Review: Stepcoupling Book Review: Step Wars Book Review: Step Wise Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents. Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic Book Review: Boundaries Book Review: The Combined Family Book Review: Living in a StepFamily CD Review: Pick Me Up DVD Review: The Happiest Baby on Block VHS Review: Baby See ‘n Sign VHS Review: Sign with Your Baby VHS Review: The Wiggles-20 Videos

GreenBuilding and Remodeling

Note: The opinions expressedherein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect theposition of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of ahealth, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.

Leave a comment