Real Life 20marriage

Real-Life Marriage in Blended Family

Blended Family: Real-life marriage is the blended family with a second marriage.

Family Site Since 1997

Blended Family

Blended Family in Real-Life Marriage.

Joy Stevens

Blended Family: Neither spouse gets 100% of what he/she wants in any marriage or family.

People who think that any marriage is composed of bliss and excitement are headed for disappointment. Those marriages and relationships only exist in romance novels, movies or television, wild promises on the internet, and personal ads.

In real life, marriage is about reciprocity and power. In a second marriage with children, it is also about being united as a couple, but we will leave that subject to another time.

In any relationship, one person gets what he/she wants by giving the other person what she/he wants.

The husband gets what he wants in a second marriage by giving his wife what she wants.

The wife gets what she wants in a second marriage by giving her husband what he wants.

Neither husband nor wife ever gets 100% of what he/she wants in any marriage.

Marriage partners provide mutual support and help each other with mundane problems. They compliment each other and both contribute to the marriage, often by compromise.

The couple may dance by candlelight but it is after the dishes are washed, the lawn is mowed, and the children have gone to bed or to visit their other parent.

Real marriages take place in the everyday world. And second marriages with children are ever-so real.

Every marriage is a package deal: kind of like the "Blue Plate Special." When you marry, you acquire a package: some good, some bad, some wonderful, some horrible. As long as the good outweighs the bad, there is little-to-no horrible, and reciprocity and compromise rule the marriage, that is a good-enough marriage for most people.

When you want a fantasy, you dream up a prince or princess, all wonderful. No person or relationship can live up to that dream.

CyberParent Recommended books for Blended Families:

More information about blended families.

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So, the truth is, marriages are not made in heaven; marriages are made by two committed people right here on earth.

Add a few children such as his, hers, and ours, and you have more reciprocity and compromise than bliss and fantasy.

Strolls on the beaches are part of the bliss you can expect when the kids have gone to visit their "other" parent. When they return, you can expect more reciprocity and compromise than bliss and fantasy. That’s reality!

Additional information about your blended family.

Blended Family Roots Family Factors Myth: Blended Family Equals Instant Famil Introducing Blended Families Second Marriages with Children Discipline for Blended Families. Blended Family Blended or Blender? New Stepparent: Now What? Stages in Blended Family Family Rules and Dynamics Building Kinship Six Common Blended Family Conflicts Stepfathers: A fact of life in America today. Stepparents Feel Isolated in Blended Family Book Review: The Blended Family Sourcebook Book Review: Blending Families Book Review: The Courage to Be a Stepmom Book Review: Divorce and New Beginnings Book Review: Stepcoupling Book Review: Step Wars Book Review: Step Wise Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents. Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic Book Review: Boundaries Book Review: The Combined Family Book Review: Living in a StepFamily CD Review: Pick Me Up DVD Review: The Happiest Baby on Block VHS Review: Baby See ‘n Sign VHS Review: Sign with Your Baby VHS Review: The Wiggles-20 Videos

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Note: The opinions expressedherein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect theposition of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of ahealth, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.

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