As mothers, I think we’ve all fallen down that rabbit hole of questioning our parenting abilities because other moms on Facebook are doing it better.
Maybe some of them are but I guarantee that most of them are facing the same chaos that you do on a daily basis.
So why do you allow the seemingly perfect lives of others to cause you stress and doubt yourself?
Because social media encourages social comparison and the more time you spend on platforms like Facebook, the more you are exposed to the competition.
Which is why, if you find yourself in the rabbit hole, you should consider limiting your social media use to 30 minutes a day. Studies have shown that this restriction of time can positively impact your overall well-being.
The Reality of Facebook Moms
Most moms define their own parenting success by comparing themselves to other mothers on social media.
The truth is, what you see on a Facebook feed is it the whole picture. Instead, you’re getting the highlights of someone else’s life – not the realistic aspects of parenting.
People tend to share their victories and successes, not their failures or downfalls.
While this may seem like a purposeful tactic to create the image of a perfect family, most mothers do it innocently. They are not on Facebook to brag about their perfect family.
Instead, they are simply sharing a positive experience in order to communicate their pride, garner praise or receive validation. Alternatively, moms avoid posting about negative experiences because they want to avoid pity, sympathy and shame.
Creating the Perfect Social Media Image
You’d be surprised how many of those sweet and adorable moments you see on social media are purposely crafted by moms to portray an image of perfection.
That absolutely cute picture of little Suzy with a perfectly round dab of ice cream on her nose? It’s entirely possible that her mom put it there.
Little Johnny’s new suit and bow tie? That probably took 10 minutes of posing to get the perfect shot.
Remember the days when our moms would take our picture, but we had to wait until: A) the entire roll of film was full and B) the film was developed before we even saw the pictures?
Sometimes just the experience of taking candid shots is more precious than the attention garnered on social media.
Placing Value on Reaction
When you post your life on social media, it’s easy to place value on your life as a mom based on how many likes or comments you get.
Your mom-friend posts a picture of her daughter’s first day of school. You do as well. Her picture gets 112 likes while yours only gets 54.
Is her daughter cuter than yours? Do people like that mom better than you? She definitely took a better picture than you.
This reasoning, although it happens on a regular basis, is completely ridiculous.
This creates an environment of competition, where mothers are constantly trying to one up each to gather more likes and comments.
It’s hard to avoid this toxic attitude, except to know that Mom World doesn’t have to be a competition. You are the best mom for your children and you don’t need social media reaction to prove it.
Taking Care of You and Your Family
It’s been proven that constant comparison and competition with other moms on social media can lead to serious mental health issues such as depression and feelings of loneliness and isolation.
When your well-being declines, you’re family feels that pain as well.
If you find yourself feeling the negative effects of social media and the illusion of perfection, you may want to consider closing your social media accounts.
Studies have shown that people who walk away from social media are measurably happier in their lives.