Book Friendship Crisis Long

Review of The Friendship Factor.

The friendship crisis addresses lonelinessas a crisis in our lives today.

The Friendship Crisis Finding, Making and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore

by Marla Paul

Moving, losing a partner, and other changing life factors often make you lonely. Paul lays out a roadmap for finding one’s way out of loneliness through making new friends.


Have you found yourself adrift, without the warmth of a circle of friends, as a result of relocating, the loss of a partner or other life changes?

Loneliness is a silent epidemic in our world today.

Marla Paul has written for the Chicago Tribune about her personal "friendship crises" when she moved to Chicago after having worked in Dallas for five years. Her experiences struck a common chord with women all over the country. Gathering wisdom from the many letters readers sent and interviews with friendship experts, she authored a book that lays out a roadmap for finding one’s way out of loneliness.

Some excerpts:

"When we’re unplugged from friends, we may devolve from our once confident selves and begin to question our likeability. My self-assurance plummeted after I moved to Dallas. When I prepared to entertain my new next-door neighbor, my hands were as icy as if I were going on a blind date. The stakes seemed so high. When she didn’t touch the feta cheese dip I’d concocted, I fretted that it was too exotic and I’d blown it. Even though a bevy of devoted pals may live several states away, the transition between leaving old relationships and bridging new ones can knock us off balance." P. 74-75

"Who hasn’t inched gingerly, heart hammering, into a gathering of strangers, gaped at the sea of unfamiliar faces, and wondered how soon you can bolt and whose idea was this anyhow?

It’s not fun in the beginning. You have to force yourself out the door when it’s a lot less threatening to stay home and re-arrange your knickknacks. Here’s how Sharon triumphs over her nerves. "I give myself a pep talk and say, ‘You need to get out and meet people. They’re not going to go out and look for you. This is something I have to do for myself’. The toughest part once she gets there is trying not to act too desperate and blurting out, "I need some friends!" p. 85

"Moving tears us from the people we love. Then we have to buck up and build an entire web of new friendships. It’s less overwhelming if you have a well-honed strategy. That means venturing into groups and classes even when it feels scary. But a future friend may also be the saleswoman at Bloomingdale’s who helps you pick out your new china. Take some risks and be open to all the possibilities." P. 89

CyberParent Recommended Reading for More Information: Setting Limits in Friendships. Review The Friendship Factor. Review When Friendship Hurts. Review The Friendship Crisis.

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