Manipulating friends and manipulation in friendships.
Friends should never manipulate you but it is a two-way street. You should never use manipulation techniques for friends.
Does Friendship Include Manipulation? Friends and Manipulation
There are three types of manipulators: The manipulator who needs to be needed. The manipulator who wants to take charge. The manipulator who wants to be pitied and manipulates by appearing weak.
A friends does not manipulate you and you do not use manipulation with your friends.
If you think you could be guilty of manipulation or feel a friend is manipulating you, ask yourself a few questions:
Do we always go to the place my friend prefers or always go to the places I prefer?
Does my friend use humor to put me down or do I do likewise?
Does my friend seem to enjoy correcting factual errors in conversations? Do I?
Do I always seem to seem weak or "poor me" to a friend or does my friend do this to me?
Do I need my friend enough to be the clutching type or does she/he seem to be clutching at me?
The above are instances of manipulation that have no place in friendship.
According to Alan Loy McGinnis in his book The Friendship Factor, there are three types of manipulators:
- The manipulator who needs to be needed.
- The manipulator who wants to take charge.
- The manipulator who wants to be pitied and manipulates by appearing weak.
Recognize anyone you know?
The author writes that at the heart of each relationship is the friendship factor and that factor is the essential ingredient of warmth and caring.
The author gives you five ways to deepen all of your relationships, five guidelines for cultivating intimacy, and two ways to handle negative emotions without destroying the relationship.
Best of all McGinnis tells you how to forgive and salvage a faltering friendship or other love relationship.
This small and short (only 191 pages) paperback is quite reasonably priced. It is an excellent book to buy and keep! Book review continued.
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CyberParent Recommended Reading for More Information: Setting Limits in Friendships. Review The Friendship Factor. Review When Friendship Hurts. Review The Friendship Crisis.
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