Understand

General understanding of the genders.

Men and women are socialized differently. This leaves us with basic misunderstandings of the opposite sex. In the long run, women are socialized to need intimacy. Men are socialized to need space.

General Understanding of Genders. Basic Differences.

Men’s needs for nurturance and support are more quickly met because women are more in tune with the needs of men than vice versa.

Intimacy vs. Space

Men and women are socialized differently. This leaves us with basic misunderstandings of the opposite sex.

In the long run, women are socialized to need intimacy. Men are socialized to need space.

Women need intimacy. Men need space. All men are not the same as all other men. All women are not the same as all other women. There are degrees of gender differences. It is not that men don’t need women for something besides intimacy and sex. They definitely do Men rely almost completely on women for nurturance and support and to some degree for approval.

However, men’s needs for nurturance and support are more quickly met because women are more in tune with the needs of men than vice versa. Women are also more in tune with relationships than men.

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Men fear dependence as unmasculine and engulfing.

Women often see themselves in relation to the people around them. They prefer intimacy to separatedness.

Although men and women value love equally and place the same emphasis and importance on finding and sustaining a close union, there is generally a difference in the way they relate to intimacy.

A woman’s bonding zone, the position where she feels comfortable and fulfilled, is very close to 100% attached.

Men alternate between a wish for attachment and a wish for separateness. They feel most comfortable and willing to bond in the middle; they want to be between separated and attached..

Because a man has further to come to reach a state of intimacy, women’s need for support and nurturance is less likely to be met by a man.

That’s not true for men, however. A woman can often totally meet the nurturance needs of men.

Other women–friends and family members–often meet the support and nurturance needs of a woman better than a man can.

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