Letters

Letters from surfers about grandparents and grandkids.

Letters from surfers about grandchildren and grandparents.

Grandparenting

Letters from Surfers

Letters from surfers about grandchildren and grandparents. I have a family with a seven year old daughter – Crystal, a 3month old daughter – Bridgette, my husband and myself. Crystal is my husband’s stepchild. Recently, my mother-in-law set up a custodial account forBridgette in which $5,000 per year will be deposited in Bridgette’s name. Crystal has only $800.00 in a savings account from gift money overthe years. I am very concerned about how Crystal will feel when she learns about Bridgette’s "wealth." Crystal considers herstep-grandparents to be grandparents. I worry that she will feel rejected and deceived by her step-grandparents when she learns that theydon’t consider her to be a "real" grandchild. I brought this up to my husband and his reply was that there is nothing he can do about itbecause it was his Mom that set up the account. Crystal’s stepparents were VERY kind to her at Christmastime, and don’t do anything otherwiseto make her feel like she isn’t an equal grandchild. I considered telling my husband to tell his mother that unless they both haveaccounts, then neither have accounts. But then I thought depriving Bridgette of her good fortune just because Crystal isn’t so luckywouldn’t be right. Our family is only 4 months old, so we are still laying the groundwork. Anysuggestions of how to deal with this situation would be appreciated.

KS

I think you are right not to deprive Bridgette of her "luckybirth." Two things come to my mind?Can you match gifts for Crystal?Can your husband talk to your mother-in-law about splitting the moneybetween the two girls until Bridgette is 18? Crystal will still have moremoney since she is younger.

Good Luck,

YW

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