Timeoutsage

Time-out Appropriate to Grandchild’s Age.

Grandparenting withtimeout: Start with a time-out warning. If thedisruptive behavior does not stop, ask the grandchild to go to his/her timeout spot unescorted.Time-out procedures change slightly as grandchildren age. The most important thing is that allcaregivers follow the same timeout procedures in order for the time-out. It is alsoimportant to take the child’s age and degree of compliancy into account when administeringthe time-out discipline procedures.

Grandparenting

Time-Out by Age. A Discipline Series.

Jan Wilson

Time-out procedures change slightly as grandchildren age. The most important thing is that all caregivers follow the same timeout procedures in order for the time-out technique to be consistent.

Time-outs work very well with grandchildren beginning at about age two. However, they are done slightly different for toddlers than for preschoolers, and differently still for school-age children.

Time-out procedures should be followed by all caretakers. That adds consistency to the discipline procedure. There is probably nothing more important than consistency when expecting a discipline technique to work for your grandchild.

Toddlers

For toddlers, explaining briefly and distracting them to other activities can be your first discipline approach.

However, temper tantrums and angry crying to get one’s way can be timed out in a crib, bed or gated room. Continued time-out (one minute per age of grandchild) after the child has quieted down is usually enough to teach the grandchild that her/his unacceptable behaviors will not be accepted.

Sometimes toddlers fall asleep when they’ve been timed out. Let them nap. Their unacceptable behavior may have been caused by exhaustion.

Pre-School Grandchildren

Start with a time-out warning. If the disruptive behavior does not stop, ask the grandchild to go to his/her timeout spot unescorted. Pre-school grandchildren who are reasonably compliant may or may not willingly go to their room when sent. After they have calmed down (quit crying, screaming, or storming around the room), start their timeout: one minute for each year of child’s age.

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If they slam the door behind themselves, don’t respond, and they will usually stop slamming on their own.

The less compliant grandchild should be escorted to his/her room without the parent/caretaker’s loss of temper.

School-Aged Grandchildren

School-aged grandchildren who are reasonably compliant may willingly go to their room when sent. Five to 10 minutes of quiet time are usually enough to settle them down. After they have settled down, start their one minute timeout.

Other grandchildren who are not so compliant must be escorted to their room. Again, no loss of temper here.

Also, if they slam the door, don’t respond. Eventually most children will stop slamming. However, if you angrily remind them not to slam the door, they will probably continue to slam as long as you are reminding them.

Summary

Time-out procedures change slightly as grandchildren age. The most important thing is that all caregivers follow the same timeout procedures in order for the time-out technique to be consistent.

Good gift for parents! If this excellent form of discipline appeals to you, get the whole story by buying the publication. Phelan’s book, 1-2-3 Magic, Training Your Child to Do What You Want. In addition to very thorough coverage of his counting method for time-out, Phelan also includes a section for teachers, a section for more serious stop-behaviors, such as lying, stealing, or playing with fire, and a section for start-behavior tactics.

This book is a must-read for parents and grandparents of children aged two up to early teens.

Buy book Buy CD Buy Spanish Edition Buy Teachers’ Edition

If your grandchild is nearing the teen years, you might want to invest in another good book by Thomas Phelan, Surviving Your Adolescents. Phelan has also written about self-esteem inchildren and dealing with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD or ADHD). His combined knowledge allows him great insight into teens. In the book on adolescence, Dr. Phelan gives a step-by-step approach that helps end hassles while allowing parents and children to keep their self-respect. This book abounds with concrete solutions to life with a teen-ager.

It is also available in cassette for those of us who need to save time.

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