Intimate: How to develop intimacy.

Intimate: Intimacy, love, and romance are shared interests. Yet bedroom intimacy is the only kind of intimacy some couples have or can relate to in a relationship.

Love and Chemistry

Intimacy and Shared Interests.

Richard Sides

We all want to be around people we can relate too, and this is most important in the areas we are most interested in. The more obscure and unusual your shared interest, the more valuable the bond.

So the Cleavers were partially intimate, sharing some parts of their lives but not others.

No couple is likely to be completely intimate, but the non-intimate areas are the ones where risk exists.

Work environments, sporting interests, religious involvements, and political movements are all common areas that we get involved in and want to share with another. Our relationships are more intimate when we share more interests than the bedroom.

The most intimate relationships, those more intricately intertwined, are the most stable and long lasting.

A fake interest, one conjured up in order to appeal to another person and get them interested in you, conveys the illusion of an opportunity for intimacy. No wonder your partner is disappointed to find out he/she was deceived.

On the other hand, a real interest (and the resulting intimacy) can be developed.

I am amazed at how interesting virtually everything is when I know more about it. On the surface, most things appear pretty dull. When you dig deeper and gain an understanding of the players, the tactics, the intrigue (in sports, work, church, you name it), those formerly dull areas become exciting.

If you want to be more intimate, be more involved. Don’t fake it!

If you do, you are not only lying, you are missing out on the fun! Take the time to actually find the fascination, to become involved, and you will not only be rewarded with increased intimacy, you will have grown as a person.

So, how do you get there?

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Ask your partner (or the person you would like to have as a partner) about the subject. Become an aggressive student, learning all about it, from history to the present, and then start anticipating the future.

Or surprise your partner (or potential partner) by studying the subject on your own. Let him/her know you figured that if someone as interesting as this partner found the subject interesting, you would be "missing the boat" not to know more about it, too.

You have just become irresistible.

We all want to be around people we can relate to, and this is most important in the areas we are most interested in. The more obscure and unusual your shared interest, the more valuable the bond.

Anyone can share a sexual intimacy but only you offer that unique intimacy. You win!

Additional information about love, loving, being loved.

Reprinted with permission from SOLO for Singles

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Note: The opinions expressedherein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect theposition of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of ahealth or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.

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