4 Common Myths About Fatherhood (And Why They’re Wrong)

Most men will grow up with their own ideas about what fatherhood entails.

These views can be shaped by many factors, including their experiences with their own fathers and social expectations for male parents that they observe in daily life

If you’ve just become or are about to become a father yourself, these ideas will likely be on your mind.

It’s critical to examine your own beliefs, expectations, and preconceived notions about what it means to be a father as you prepare to step into the role.

Looking at them with a clear eye will help you better understand the kind of parent you want to be and how you want to raise your child.

It will also prevent you from subscribing to harmful myths or misconceptions that may damage your well-being and that of your family if you let them go unquestioned.

This feature covers four of the most common myths around fathers and fatherhood, debunked:

1. Expectant Fathers’ Feelings Don’t Matter

During pregnancy, you, your friends, and your family members may find yourselves focusing largely on your partner’s condition, and rightly so.

Pregnancy and childbirth are highly stressful experiences that can significantly affect a person’s physical and mental health, and it only makes sense to support your partner through them.

However, it’s important to pay just as much attention to and make an equal effort to care for your own feelings during this highly challenging and exciting time for your family.

Many fathers-to-be feel an unspoken pressure to speak almost exclusively about the excitement and joy of parenthood. This pressure can be compounded by the generalized societal belief that men shouldn’t express difficult emotions like vulnerability or anxiety because it makes them look weak.

Remember that feelings of fear and worry are perfectly normal for expectant fathers, and resist the temptation to keep these feelings to yourself because you don’t want to burden your partner.

On the contrary, sharing your thoughts and emotions will probably bring the two of you even closer together.

2. The Mother’s Health Is Always More Important

While there’s nothing wrong with looking after your partner day-to-day, you mustn’t get so caught up in doing so that you neglect your own physical well-being.

Both of you should be doing your best to eat, sleep, and attend to your other physical needs properly as you prepare for the birth.

Let’s say your work tasks and household chores require you to stand, sit, or walk for longer periods than usual, causing your legs and feet to hurt.

To address this, you can purchase a pair of the best compression socks available, such as Burlix’s socks, to relieve the pain and improve blood circulation in your legs.

Regular exercise will also do wonders for your concentration, mood, and energy levels.

If you find that this especially busy time in your life leaves you with little space for long workouts, try squeezing in short ten-minute exercise sessions throughout your day instead.

3. Children Don’t Need Their Fathers

Once your baby is born, you’ll likely immediately notice the intense connection between them and your partner.

The stress of childbirth, as well as naturally bonding processes such as breastfeeding, create an immediate and strong bond between the childbearing parent and the child.

This bond is so valued and emphasized in society that it can be easy for the other parent to feel shut out or unnecessary in the equation.

Contrary to popular belief, however, fathers are an essential part of their children’s lives from birth onwards. You, too, can bond with your baby by holding and rocking them; these actions can also soothe them when they cry or get fussy.

Additionally, you can have your partner express milk into a bottle so that you can help with feeding, which will give your partner more opportunities to rest and regain energy.

Fathers also continue playing an important role in their children’s mental and emotional development throughout life.

Studies show that children whose fathers are closely involved in their lives growing up are often smarter, more socially well-adjusted, and less likely to exhibit behavioral problems than children with little to no paternal contact.

Your fatherly love is integral to shaping many aspects of your child’s personhood, such as their social skills, confidence, educational aptitude, and many more.

4. Fatherhood Comes Naturally

In many societies around the world, men are expected to be competent and confident at all times.

As a result, many men develop a disdainful attitude toward learning new things or admitting to needing help, even in completely new situations.

As an expectant father, you might be tempted to forgo reading baby books or seeking advice from other people because you think you’ll simply know what to do when the baby arrives.

Dropping that attitude, however, will be of greater benefit to you, your partner, and your child.

So, don’t hesitate to read up on childcare and parenthood. You can also ask other fathers you know and trust about their experiences.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, buying into myths about fatherhood can take a toll on your mental well-being and may also cause you to perpetuate neglectful and otherwise harmful behavior toward your partner and child.

Instead, reflect on your feelings about fatherhood and share them at length with your partner and other trustworthy people.

Once you figure out what being a good dad means to you, you can begin taking steps toward becoming that person for your growing family. 

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