It’s cute when you hear an 8 year old say he has a crush on a girl at school. It’s cute when you hear a 10 year old asking for advice on what to put in a Valentine’s card (and just might get you thinking about valentine’s day yourself!)
But when a teenager says he needs help asking a girl out—stop the presses! It may sound alarming for most parents, but, really, don’t freak out.
Why? If you overreact, there is a huge chance that your child will shun away from sharing things like this with you.
Before you know it, he’ll have all his secrets and you’ll do something that may damage your relationship more.
Why Freaking Out is a No-No
For a child to learn and confidently tell you even the most awkward things, he should be able to feel trust and respect from you.
This is a great opportunity for you to explore and develop communication between you and your child.
If he feels you won’t understand and will just always tell him no, then that may mark the beginning of the end of any chance you have at being involved in his teenage life and personal choices.
Just because you’re not blowing things out of proportion does it also mean that you’re totally cool with the idea of young teens having romantic relationships. This is a great opportunity for you to explore and develop communication between you and your child.
Keep in mind that you’ll push them away if you keep freaking out with every word they say. No parent wants their children to hide things from them or to start sneaking out and away from you.
How to Address the Elephant in the Room
It’s all about boundaries, respect, trust, and proper communication. If you’re okay with the idea of them pursuing this emotion, let them know and be genuinely supportive. However, you will also need to tell them what your worries are. Again, do not go overboard, just lay it as it is and tell them how you feel.
On the other hand, if you are not comfortable with this, let them speak first and tell you all about it. Do not just blatantly say no.
You need to acknowledge what they said and tell them you have something to say. Remember to stay calm at all times; your temper and disposition will help decide if he’ll listen to your words.
Take the time to get to know more about the person they like. Ask what qualities they saw that attracted them. The more you learn about the person, the better you will understand, and the better you’ll be able to guide them to make the right decisions.
Remember to stay calm at all times; your temper and disposition will help decide if he’ll listen to your words.
It’s never easy to accept how quickly a child grows and when he’s old enough for new things and happenings in life. But we have to realize that this time will come and we need to be ready to address it with confidence and firmness that are guided by love.
It’s all in the attitude
We all want to stay involved in their lives so we can guide and protect them. With the right attitude and approach, we will stay in that position for a very long time.