Pregnancies can often be surprising, but that doesn’t always mean they are pleasant. There are times when finding out you are pregnant can come as a complete and total shock.
When I found out I was pregnant, it was not an occasion for celebration. I had not wanted to get pregnant and my boyfriend at the time was probably the last person I should have had a child with.
Although my pregnancy was not a glowing and happy experience – it was fraught with anxiety and fear – I would never take it back for the world.
Because, as soon as my daughter was born, most of those negative feelings melted away.
Here are some ways that you can deal with your unplanned pregnancy if you’re not sure what to do or who to turn to:
1. Speak to Someone You Can Trust
First, speak with a friend or family member you can trust. You need to be able to talk to someone who will be supportive and not condescending.
I was fortunate to have my mother and my best friend, neither or whom judged my situation nor did they make me feel bad for not being excited.
This is a very emotional time and the last thing you need is to be defending your pregnancy or forcing yourself to feel a way you don’t feel.
2. Feel What You Need to Feel
You’re allowed to feel scared if your situation is uncertain and you’re allowed to feel excitement if you are happy to be pregnant.
There’s no right or wrong way to feel about an unwanted pregnancy.
Many women end up pregnant when they didn’t plan to for many different reasons. Despite how it happened to you, don’t let other people pressure into feeling a certain way about it.
3. Try to Make the Best of It
While it may not be an ideal situation for you, it is not constructive to look back in regret, anger or despair.
You should try and look forward and realize that, once your baby is born, everything will change. You’ll finally be able to fully embrace the positive aspects of the situation.
I think the biggest fear of a unwanted pregnancy, or any pregnancy, is fear of the unknown. Try to prepare yourself as best you can by reading books or reaching out to others for advice.
Be sure to take what you learn with a grain of salt, since every women mothers differently, but it’s good to have a strong arsenal of advice to guide you through the unknown.
4. Prepare to Inform the Baby’s Father
At some point, you are going to have to inform the baby’s father that you are pregnant.
You may already be in a committed relationship with this person or perhaps your situation is different. Either way, you may receive a varying range of responses from excitement to denial.
Hopefully, the father will be supportive and helpful throughout the pregnancy.
However, depending on his reaction, you may want to consider the possibility of requiring a lawyer to address custody and visitation issues (if the two of you are not together). Even though there is nothing you can do until the baby is born, you can start educating yourself on the process.
5. Be Aware of Your Body’s Changes
Be mindful of the fact that your body is in a different state. Pregnancy causes a flood of changes and transformations every day.
You are going to need to take extra care of yourself and this includes your mind as well as your body.
Don’t be afraid to focus on your own needs during this time.
You Can Do This, Mama
An unwanted pregnancy can be a scary and anxious experience and no one should blame you for feeling that way.
Hopefully these tips will help you face your situation with a bit more confidence and peace.
Have you dealt with an unwanted pregnancy? Share your experiences in our comments!