There are close to 800,000 divorces each year. Unfortunately, many of these divorces become ugly, drawn-out proceedings that leave bitter feelings for years after.
Even worse, these ugly divorces often drag kids into the middle of the dispute and create hard feelings between parent and child.
Of course, ugliness isn’t a prerequisite for a divorce. Thousands of couples carry out an amicable divorce every year.
Are you facing a potential divorce? Wondering how you can keep the process amicable, both for yourself and the rest of your family?
Then keep reading for five tips on how to have an amicable divorce:
1. Make Sure the Marriage Is Truly Over
One key factor in getting an amicable divorce is that both people understand the marriage is over. That means you must make every effort to save the marriage first.
See a marriage counselor together. If you’re religious, many church leaders provide faith-based counseling for couples as well.
If all of these efforts fail, it lets everyone leave knowing the relationship was truly over.
2. Keep the Big Picture in Mind
Another major factor in getting an amicable divorce is remembering the big picture. It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment that you forget that you’ll likely end up dealing with your ex for years to come.
All the emotional injuries you inflict now will haunt those interactions after the divorce itself is long over.
Remembering that there will a year from now when you want your kids on a holiday will temper your anger.
3. Act in Good Faith
One of the best ways you can have an amicable divorce is with good-faith behavior. The more it looks like you’re trying to act in a fair way, the more likely your spouse will do the same.
It’s when people think they’re about to get taken that they get hostile.
4. Focus on the Well-Being of Your Kids
Your kids will face incredibly rough seas emotionally after the divorce. Focus on their well-being.
Above all else, don’t make your kids pick sides.
5. Accept that the Situation Is Unpleasant
Even in the most amicable divorce situation, you’ll go through a variety of emotions. Some of them will prove unpleasant.
Accept that that emotional unpleasantness is part of the process. Don’t take it out on your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
Making it an Amicable Divorce
Making your divorce an amicable divorce is largely a decision you make about how you will behave as the process goes on.
If you make a decision that you’ll act fairly, focus on your kids, and not take out your angst on your partner, you can expect a much smoother ride.
Don’t forget about the big picture as you go. You’ll likely want favors from your ex down the road. Prime the pump now with a reasonable attitude.
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