Everyone knows that cheating and infidelity are taboo in a relationship, yet it happens. Affairs are exciting and fun at the moment but they can easily destroy your relationship and marriage.

Affairs can also become an addiction where people tell themselves they shouldn’t do it but feel compelled to do so for the rush.

Because it’s like an addiction, cheating can be a hard behavior to stop – and the realization that it should end often comes too late.

So for those that play this dangerous game, it’s important to know that someone is always going to get hurt.

What is Infidelity?

Infidelity is the act of being unfaithful to a spouse or partner by engaging in sexual or romantic acts with a person that is not the significant other.

There are different types of infidelity and each fulfills a different need:

• Opportunistic Infidelity: When someone gives in to their desires due to situational circumstances (i.e., it wasn’t planned).
• Obligatory Infidelity: When someone is fearful that resisting another person’s sexual advances will lead to rejection and they do it for approval.
• Romantic Infidelity: When someone cheats with another person and seeks a loving connection with someone else even though they are dedicated to their current relationship.
• Conflicted Romantic Infidelity: When someone feels genuine love and sexual desire for both their partner and the person they are cheating with.
• Commemorative Infidelity: When someone has no feelings for their current partner and justifies cheating because they have the “right” to find what they are lacking in their relationship.

Infidelity Versus Open Relationships

It’s a no-brainer that you shouldn’t sleep or become emotionally involved with someone while you are married or in a committed relationship. Infidelity is cruel to the cheated partner, but often those that cheat don’t consider how they would feel if the situation was reversed.

However, some people do have open relationships that work because ground rules are established, so both partners are aware and happy with the situation.

Overall, the difference between infidelity and open relationships comes down to whether or not both partners are aware of the activities happening outside of the relationship and if they are okay with it.

Are You Committing Adultery?

If you are the one committing adultery, ask yourself this question: Is the infidelity really worth it?

Is your life that bad that you need to damage your current relationship?

Do you love the person you are having an affair with? And do you love them enough to destroy the life of the one you are with?

Is the new relationship strong enough to last?

When you have an affair outside of your committed relationship, you have to make a choice. Continuing with the infidelity is unfair to your partner as well as the person you are having the affair with.

Making a Choice and Saving Your Relationship

The choice is hard so it’s important to make it with a clear head and an open mind. Cheating is not a guaranteed end to your committed relationship and it’s possible to save the relationship and strengthen your bond.

Keep in mind that forgiveness is not instant. Rebuilding trust takes work and this requires that both you and you’re partner are willing to work through the situation.

You also need to pay attention to the way you are communicating with your partner. Active listening is crucial, requiring you to listen to what your partner has to say without being defensive or jumping to conclusions.

What If I’m the One Being Cheated On?

Forgiveness is not a necessary part of dealing with this situation if you are the one being cheated on. How you feel about going forward with your partner is completely up to you.

Just remember that suspicions can be incorrect. Be sure that you are 100% positive your partner is cheating before you address the situation.

But even if your partner won’t admit to anything and the evidence is overwhelming, there’s no reason you have to stay in a relationship that has no trust.

Even though marriages and relationships can survive infidelity, how you proceed depends on the type of infidelity and how much work you and your partner are willing to put in to save the relationship.

It’s a Dangerous Game

There’s really no situation where cheating is acceptable, and doing so can completely destroy your committed relationship.

If you feel inclined to cheat, stop yourself and ask, “Why?” Is there a deeper reason why you feel compelled to stray from your partner?

Exploring this need and seeking therapy are great ways to avoid infidelity and either strengthen your current relationship or end a dissatisfying one.

Even if you are not happy with your partner, there is no need to put them through the emotional damage of being cheated on.

And, if you are the one that was cheated on, you are under no obligation to forgive and trust your partner. The decision to do so is completely up to you.