The Woman’s Guide to Online Dating
I was originally going to write this as a single mom’s guide to dating, but the only real difference would have been to tell you to find a babysitter. Instead, here is a guide for ALL WOMEN to help win the world of online dating.
Write a Great Profile
I’d love to be the person that tells you that men and women barely pay attention to photos and instead are attracted to compelling and interesting profiles. I can’t, though, but what I can tell you is that a balance of both is the key to presenting a great profile and attracting interest.
First, keep it short. When it comes to online dating, profile browsing is quick and dirty. If there’s too much “blah blah blah” then the initially interested party is going to continue on to a more concise profile.
You can focus your profile on what you are looking for in a partner and what turns you off.
You can also list a few key interests and values to give the viewer an idea of your lifestyle. Otherwise, hold back the life story and ABSOLUTELY EMIT anything about past relationships.
Lastly, make your profile picture a good one. Keep in mind that the nature of the photo is going to make an impression on the men and women looking at your profile – sexy, racy photos may indicate you are interested mostly in a physical relationship whereas professional or active poses may give the vibe that you are serious and fun.
The Do Not’s
The overall “DO” of online dating is to be yourself. However, it is important that you pay attention to what you say in order to avoid these pitfalls:
- Do not write your whole life story. This could easily be included in the safety section below – you never want to divulge too much information to someone who could utilize it in an ill-manner. Apart from that, online communication is an opportunity for you and the other person to get a “snap-shot” idea of each other and decide if you want to meet in person. Keep your story short and sweet unless you are asked for more details (and are comfortable providing them). For example, if he/she asks you how many siblings you have, the answer is…how ever many siblings you have. At this point they are not interested in knowing the nature of the relationship between you and your sister Lori ever since she cheated with your high school boyfriend twenty years ago. You’ll come off as long-winded and self-interested.
- Do not lie. Because it will suck when you get caught. You may find yourself developing feelings for a guy or gal after making up a story about your age, marital status, job, etc. Once they find out the truth, it’s game over. Just keep it honest – there is someone out there who will like – and maybe someday love – the person you truly are.
- Do not be too eager. I hate to throw about the word “desperate” but acting too pushy to meet or agreeing with everything he or she says just to impress them is going to come off as, well, desperate. It’s unnatural and inorganic and those who pick up on it are likely going to steer away from it. Just play it cool, give the other person some space and be yourself.
Ensuring your safety while dating online is a combination of common sense and using good judgment.
If you have yet to meet someone you’ve been contacting in person, treat them as a complete stranger. Essentially they are, so you are not going to want to give out your address or any other sensitive personal information. Nowadays, most women feel comfortable giving out their phone number or Facebook profile since people can be blocked from both.
Once you do meet, be sure to tell a friend or family member where you are going and who you are going with. Meet in a public area and keep the initial meeting brief and casual.
Most importantly, remember – NO MEANS NO! Whoever you are meeting with is not entitled to any more than you are willing to give. If you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel unsafe or nervous, leave or contact someone you trust.