Letters8

Stepparenting: More questions, answers and letters from CyberParent surfers.

Stepparents’ feedback and questions about being astepparent. Letters from CyberParent readers.

StepParents’ Letters

Step Parenting

I’ve been divorced for 4 years, separated for seven. My ex remarriedtwo years ago and for the past 16 months I have been blessed with awonderful relationship. The problem is that my two girls, ages 10 and14, can’t accept that I have a boyfriend. They feel threatened by him,act out when he is around, and constantly demand my attention on thosefew occasions where we do try to "blend." I have made a point of seeinghim when the kids are with their dad but even then, the girls are angrythat I’ve spent time with him.I have done everything I can to reassure them that I will never abandonthem and that for both my boyfriend and me their needs come first. Butfor some reason they can’t hear that. It’s almost like I’m the kid andthey’re the parents. I feel torn between my love for them and my lovefor my boyfriend. We’ve both said that if anything breaks us up it willbe my kids because they just can’t tolerate sharing me with anyoneelse. HELP!!!

I feel like over the last six months my stepdaughter (age 9) has goneberserk. She has been living with my husband and I for the last 4 yearsand she has been going to therapy sporadically. She and I have alwayshad a wonderful relationship. Then my husband and I had our owndaughter and I wanted to make sure Ronetta (my stepdaughter) didn’t feelleft out. In included her when we named the baby, bathed her, boughtclothes, feedings. The whole nine yards. Now the baby is 2 years oldand can do things on her own and doesn’t want the help. Unfortunately,when my daughter turned two, my stepdaughter started acting up inschool, failing every subject, mouthing off, she started her menstrualcycle, began to develop and she seems to want to argue with me at everyturn. I expected this from a 14 to 16 year old rebellious teen. Sheclaims not know why her behavior suddenly changed and so far a therapistcan’t answer that question either. The problem I am having is I amtired of dealing with so much of the drama. The arguing or asking herto do something 5 or 6 times until I have to threaten some type ofpunishment. The jealous behavior (of her sister). The demanding ofcertain items. Sneaking things to school. Getting phone calls fromschool because of her behavior. I am beginning to resent the choice ofbeing a stepparent because I feel like no matter what I do or say and Iam the evil B***H of a mother and I love her sister more than her. Ihave never treated her that way and I have always professed my love. Can anyone relate? If you can relate, any suggestions for helping mecope during this trying time?Sincerely,Hopelessly Frustrated!

CyberParent Recommended Reading for More Information: Introducing the StepParents’ Web StepParent Web Directory Q & A Series Blended Family Blended or Blender? New Stepparent: Now What? Stepkin: An Evolution What Is a Single Stepparent? Building Kinship Short and Long-Term Visitation Second Marriages with Children Both Are Non-Custody Parents Six Common Stepfamily Conflicts Thanks, Mike! Doggy-Blue

One Non-Custody Parent/Spouse Has Visitation Rights

Stepparents Seek Advice from Other Stepparents.

Stepfathers: A fact of life in America today.

Time-out: An Effective Discipline for Stepfamilies.

Multiple page series of letters about stepparenting from CyberParent surfers.

Genetic Engineering: What Is It and How Can It Affect My Family? Book Review: The Blended Family Sourcebook Book Review: Blending Families Book Review: The Courage to Be a Stepmom Book Review: Divorce and New Beginnings Book Review: Stepcoupling Book Review: Step Wars Book Review: Step Wise Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents. Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic Book Review: The Combined Family Book Review: Living in a StepFamily

Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professional whose advice you might need to seek.

Leave a comment