Lettersc

Questions, answers and letters from CyberParent surfers.

Questions about being a stepparent. Letters fromCyberParent readers.

StepParents’ Letters

Step Parenting

My husband and I are both non-custodial parents,of two children each.His son is 11,his daughter is 8. My daughter is 8 and my son is 5. Wehave access every second weekend, and every teusday. Mine stayovernight,his have to be home by six. I have a good relationship with myex-husband regarding the children. My children have no battle scars,youwould never even know they were children of divorce. His two childrenhowever have more battle scars,then Monica Lewinsky has dresses. Theremother liked me at first but now has told the children she is afraid ofme. She uses & manipulates these children to such a degree that itshould be considered child abuse.Her ultimate goal is parent alienation.This I’m sure of as I’ve been a children’s advocate for 8years. Myproblem is this: Both children lie.It is so bad with his son that Idon’t trust him period. He snoops, they both eavesdrop and report totheir mother about everything. Don’t get me wrong,I’m there for them inevery way possible,and treat all four children the same. But I’m quittired of having to be on guard in my own home (previously my husbandshome). I’ve started hiding things and locking things up,I’m evenconsidering a lock for our bed room door. This seems ridiculous. Myother problem is of course lack of respect from his son, and waterworksmanipulation from his daughter. I think moving to a new home may helpset the stage for respect.Because this would not just be Dad’s house.But I have to be honest, I don’t like this house or neighbourhood. Myhusband feels like I have it out for his son. The last thing I need isto start arguing about children.I grew up in a blended family full ofarguments.My husband also keeps saying there is nothing I can do fromhere.He may be partly right,because of his ex-wife’s influence on thechildren. I know I sound like I’m rattling on,but please help if youcan.And please reply as fast as you can. Greatfully yours,PM, Canada

Answer

I read a good book called StepMothering: Another Kind of Love by Pearl K.Prilik. There are a couple of pages about setting limits in the book that might be helpful, pages 81 and 82. There is also a chapter on stress. My stepson was stealingfrom me but it finally worked out. Good luck.JW, Texas

Back to beginning of letters

CyberParent Recommended Reading for More Information: Introducing the StepParents’ Web StepParent Web Directory Q & A Series Blended Family Blended or Blender? New Stepparent: Now What? Stepkin: An Evolution What Is a Single Stepparent? Building Kinship Short and Long-Term Visitation Second Marriages with Children Both Are Non-Custody Parents Six Common Stepfamily Conflicts Thanks, Mike! Doggy-Blue

One Non-Custody Parent/Spouse Has Visitation Rights

Stepparents Seek Advice from Other Stepparents.

Stepfathers: A fact of life in America today.

Time-out: An Effective Discipline for Stepfamilies.

Multiple page series of letters about stepparenting from CyberParent surfers.

Genetic Engineering: What Is It and How Can It Affect My Family? Book Review: The Blended Family Sourcebook Book Review: Blending Families Book Review: The Courage to Be a Stepmom Book Review: Divorce and New Beginnings Book Review: Stepcoupling Book Review: Step Wars Book Review: Step Wise Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents. Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic Book Review: The Combined Family Book Review: Living in a StepFamily

Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professional whose advice you might need to seek.

You might also like More from author