Non Custody Stepparents

Noncustody stepparents: both parents do not have custody.

Non-Custody Parents: How do you handle the week-ends when all the children are there?


Non-Custody Stepparents: What If You Are Both Non-Custody Stepparents?

Joy Stevens

Non-Custody Stepparents: How do you handle the week-ends when all the children are there?




Non-Custody Stepparents:  Save time to spend alone together.

If you are both non-custody parents, and each have week-end visitation rights, make certain to plan a few empty times so you can have time for each other on a week-end. Hopefully, one custody parent or the other will be willing to change week-ends occasionally to allow this to happen.

How do you handle the week-ends when all the children are there?

Plan some projects that involve all of you but make certain that each spouse has some time with his/her child(ren) alone.

Encourage your spouse and his/kids to plan something with their own friends or extended family for that time.

Here are more suggestions to handle the above situations:

1. Make certain you and your spouse have ongoing discussions and compromises. Nothing much will happen until you are both involved.

2. All children should be encouraged to express their reservations about the new situation(s).  Put yourself in their shoes and empathize with them. Make an effort  to talk and behave like everything is the same.

3. Make certain the children do not feel like guests, but members of another caring group when they are at your new home.

4. Make certain your children realize that your new spouse will never take the place of their other parent and that your children will never have to choose between two families. Same for your spouse’s children.

5. Give each child a permanent drawer and spot in the house. If they have to share a bedroom with stepsiblings, see that they have a bunk or trundle bed that is their own. Keep a place at the dinner table for them and make certain they have a place on the family arts and craft wall, family picture wall, etc.  

6. Include all kids in the family chores, pow-wows, decisions, and plans.

7. Arrange activities that include your new family and activities that will let you be with your children alone.

8. Encourage all kids to be friends  and spend time together. But also encourage your kids to have friends and activities apart. In some cases it is wise to allow a child to bring a friend with them.

9. Start the week-end with an activity that gets everyone involved when you can.

10. Ask your stepkids what problems, if any, your children cause. Listen to their answers with an open mind and try to find solutions to their problems. Do the same with your kids.




11. Express your gratitude to your stepchildren for including your children in their activities and lives. Then do the same with your kids.

12. Don’eexpect any kids to take a backseat to your children or let them feel pushed aside in any way.

13. Try to get your children and stepchildren involved in projects, activities, and chores so they will naturally get to know each other. But allow any of the kids to back off when they want to without feeling guilty or pressured to stay in the "group."

14. Get your new spouse to help with his/her kids and with the blending of the families. After all, you can’t do it all.

15. Try to treat all children the same when they are together. 

16. Look for the child who seems unhappy and do what you can to rectify the situation.

17. Give all stepchildren new experiences when you have them. Sometimes non-custody parents have more "energy and funds" for the unusual than custody parents.

Just as all people are different, these blended kids will be different, too. You can not please all of them all of the time. Just remember to communicate with everyone concerned. As with most of life, talking and listening are still king!

Again, the important thing is to reserve some time for the couple to be together with as few children as possible in tow. Even a sitter and a short night on the town will help.

Additional information about stepparenting, stepfamilies.


Large Play Mats roll-up for storage between  rainy days or stepkids’ visits.

Review mat
| Buy mat

Review mat 
| Buy mat

Go Away Monster!
Board Game
Review game |
Buy game

Don’t Make Me Laugh, Jr Board Game
Review Game |
Buy Game

Board Game
Review Game Buy Game

Tin box Version Cranium’s Cadoo, Family Game
Review game
| Buy game

Review Ready Bed with easily inflatable mattresses for grandkids’ visits or popular gifts with boy’s or girl’s favorite characters.



Outstanding Links
Singles Profiles
Dating Web
Dating Again
Dating Tips 
Dating with Kids 
Earth Singles  Intimacy-Opposite Sex 
Local Singles Webs
Love Poems & Quotes
Lying and Dating
Safely Single
Single Rose
Single Seniors

Singles Meet 
Singles Store
SOLO for Singles 
Speed Dating  
Suddenly Single

Alternative Medicine

Baby’s Sign Language

Be a Matchmaker 
Birthday Book 
Blended Family
Boys: Parenting
Breast Feeding 
Choose Personal Matchmaker
Discipline Your Child
Dr. Luv
Eating Healthy
Esteem for Children
Gender Understanding 
Games for Kids

Gifts for Men

Girls: Parenting
Heart Express
Holistic Health
Kids’ Activities 
Intimate Lovers
Love & Chemistry 
Love & Marriage  
Music & More Music

Organic Garden

Organic Food

Second Marriage

Shopping Place 
Single Parents
Spoiling Infants
Sports & Recreation
Teach Kids Right/Wrong
Teens: by/for teens   
Toys for Kids

Travel with Kids 
Ultra Music 
Living Tips Beauty Tips 
Dating/Meeting Tips for Singles 
Love & Romance Tips 
Lunchbox Notes 
Math/Science Fun for Kids Stay in Touch with  Kids-Grandkids 
Free Newsletters
Earth Friends 
DFW Happenings 


CyberParent Recommended Gifts for Kids and Step Children

Review All Rescue Heroes

 Rush Hour Board Game-Puzzle
Review Game | Buy Game
Buy Extra Cards

My First Words Matching Game 
Review Game
Buy Game

Review pop-up bus

Buy this truck 
Review All Trucks

Review Ready Bed with easily inflatable mattresses for stepkids’ visits or popular gifts.

Buy  doll house  
Buy AA



Buy this doll  Buy AA doll


Review All the Wiggles

Returnto Stepparents Directory.

Book Review:  The Blended Family Sourcebook Book Review:  Blending Families
Book Review:  The Courage to Be a Stepmom Book Review:  Divorce and New Beginnings
Book Review:  Stepcoupling Book Review:  Step Wars
Book Review: Step Wise Book Review: Surviving Your Adolescents.
Book Review: 1-2-3 Magic
Book Review:  The Combined Family Book Review:  Living in a StepFamily

home.GIF (548 bytes)cyberparents.GIF (706 bytes)grandparents.GIF (701 bytes)single parents.GIF (712 bytes)stepparents.GIF (902 bytes)for kids only.GIF (692 bytes)for men only.GIF (887 bytes)for women only.GIF (918 bytes)leisure.GIF (564 bytes)lifestyles.GIF (851 bytes)relating.GIF (592 bytes)shopping place.GIF (737 bytes)table of contents.GIF (517 bytes)you.GIF (512 bytes)contact.GIF (627 bytes)


Copyright © 1997-2006 CyberParent. All rights reserved.
Certain images: Copyright © 1994-1996. T-Maker Company. All rights reserved.
Many photographs, letters, questions, answers, and items of advice in the StepParent Webwere submitted by our surfers. We thank you for participating.

Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of CyberParent. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health professional whose advice you might need to seek.

You might also like More from author