Many people have no concept of emotional strength. In contemporary society, strength is often described as stoicism, as showing no emotion in the face of difficult events. These external expressions (or the lack of such), however, have very little to do with emotional strength.
Being emotionally strong isn’t about control. It’s about reacting in an adequate, mature way when being faced with an emotional situation. Obviously, such situations abound in a relationship. Building emotional strength when another person is involved could be quite challenging. Still, in time, various small steps can help you get there.
Adapt to Your Environment, Don’t Try to Control It
Letting go of the desire to control everything is one of the biggest essentials if you want to learn how to build emotional strength.
The more you try to stay in charge, the more frustrated you’ll get. The reason for that is simple – there are only a handful of things you can control when you are in a relationship with another human being. Instead of trying to make everything unfold according to plan, work on being more flexible and adapting to the specifics of your environment.
You may not be the perfect partner and you will certainly make mistakes. Learning from those mistakes and adjusting to ensure a better experience in the future are two essentials for being emotionally strong and getting satisfaction from the relationship.
Blaming is one of the most hurtful things you can do relationship-wise. Shifting the guilt for something to your partner could give you a temporary sense of relief but in the grand scheme of things, you approach nothing.
Instead of attempting to pinpoint who’s guilty of what, learn to take responsibility for your contribution to relationship problems.
Another person should never be viewed as a problem. Instead of focusing on who has done what, focus on what could be done to resolve the issue quickly and efficiently. You will find this approach to bring on a much more productive type of communication than playing “the blame game”.
Face Your Vulnerabilities and Insecurities
So many people opt for local dating online because it’s easy and comfortable. It doesn’t involve facing one’s insecurities early on in the process. Unfortunately, this is a problem as far as emotional strength is concerned.
Emotionally strong people aren’t always the toughest ones. They are however, the individuals who acknowledge their insecurities.
Unless you’ve never been in a relationship in the past, you carry baggage. Past relationships have probably left you scarred or fearful of certain things. Don’t try to ignore these vulnerabilities. If you sweep them under the rug, they’ll come back to haunt you later on.
Instead, be open and honest to your partner. Tell them why you act in specific ways or what makes you triggered. The moment you open up is the moment you build a much deeper and a more meaningful connection.
Don’t Be Afraid to Set Healthy Boundaries and Enforce Them
Emotional strength in a relationship is also about recognizing your limitations and being courageous enough to enforce and defend them.
Healthy boundaries are one of the biggest essentials for a harmonious relationship. Their goal isn’t to limit your partner. It’s to prevent situations and scenarios that you feel uncomfortable with.
Boundary setting doesn’t have to be grand and all-encompassing. It’s about knowing where you stand on certain issues and having the courage to speak up about your fear/discomfort. If you are in a relationship with the right person, they will respect your boundaries and do their best to refrain from crossing the line.
This one may seem like a vague tip but mindfulness is one of the ways to achieve emotional strength. It’s not just a buzz word, it’s a range of diversified practices aimed at looking inside.
Mindfulness is about listening to your inner voice, knowing who you are and what you want. Some people achieve it through meditation, others engage in journal creation. Some take a few minutes each evening to reflect on the events of the day and future possibilities.
Mindfulness is about introspection and knowing yourself. Most of us are afraid to be alone with the person that matters the most – our hidden inner self. If you do not know this person, however, you’ll find it difficult to maintain fulfilling relationships.
Building emotional strength is a gradual process that takes time. There’s no universal timeframe – give yourself a chance to go on a journey and have your own, unique experiences.
Don’t push yourself too hard. Accomplish one small step at a time & recognize your achievements. Move on when you’re ready. It’s also important to get your partner involved in the process. Growing together can be such an enriching experience. It can help you form a deeper bond and tackle immediately the issues standing in the way of complete happiness.
For more great relationship tips, check out the other blogs on Cyber Parent.