Cheating is, unfortunately, a common occurrence and can be devastating to a marriage or relationship.
When you find out that your partner has had an affair, the first few hours, days, and weeks can be emotionally wrenching.
While you can’t turn back the clock and stop the affair from happening, there are ways you can work beyond it and calm your intense feelings.
Here are ten ways you can help yourself during these times:
No, you shouldn’t get fit just to make your former partner jealous or to attract a new mate. Walking, running, and exercising helps drain off the adrenaline and reduce the stress you are feeling.
Physical exercise positively impacts your brain chemicals and will make you feel happier, more relaxed, and more self-confident.
2. Talk It Out
When you find out that a partner has cheated on you, you’re going to experience a wide range of emotions that may leave you feeling burnt out and confused.
By talking out your situation with a friend, or even a therapist, you can pour your heart out and start to make sense of the situation and your feelings.
3. Write It Out
Just as talking it out with a friend can be helpful in untangling the emotional mess you are in, writing your feelings in a journal can be helpful as well.
Grab a notebook, pen, and timer. Set the timer for 5 minutes and write anything and everything that comes to your mind – don’t censor yourself.
Once the timer goes off, stop writing and put your journal away for a while. Try to get on with your day.
4. Find a Safe Place
You need to find a place that is safe and comfortable in order to process your feelings and begin to heal. This could be a quiet room in your home or a favorite park you like to visit.
Intentionally spend some time there and let your feelings and thoughts come and go. Try not to focus on any thought or feeling in particular – just let them float by.
5. Talk To Yourself
When you’re dealing with a cheating partner, it’s likely that your self-esteem is going to take a hit.
Now is the time to engage in some positive self-talk and ensure yourself that it wasn’t your fault and that you are good enough.
You can write out some affirmations and repeat them while looking in a mirror. Say things like, “I am worthy of love and this wasn’t my fault” or, “I am okay. I will be okay and this will eventually pass.”
You may not believe yourself at first but, the more you do this, the more your mind will change the way it views the situation.
6. Pray or Meditate
Whether you are spiritual or not, praying and meditating are great ways to engage in self-reflection. This will help affirm your worth and enable you to see the larger picture:
It wasn’t your fault and, someday, you can move on from this.
7. Be Aware
Don’t try to hide or ignore your feelings. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling, and what you are doing.
The more you consciously recognize your experience, the more you will be able to process your feelings and begin to create distance from the emotional pain.
8. Encourage Your Feelings
Again, you can’t ignore what you feel. Dealing with infidelity in a relationship is going to result in a rollercoaster of emotions.
Trying to deal with each and every feeling is going to be exhausting. Instead, accept that your feelings will come and go, often as waves.
There will be lulls where you feel fantastic and days where they will come crashing down on you.
9. Get Professional Help
You are not biologically wired to deal with the emotional turmoil that follows an affair. Supportive therapy may be helpful.
It will give you an outside perspective from a professional who can help guide you through your emotions and challenges.
10. Gather Resources
Start reading, browsing the internet, and talking to people who are in a situation similar to yours. This will help you recognize that you are not alone – many people have walked your path.
There are plenty of support networks ready and willing to offer their understanding and help you navigate this stressful situation.
You may not believe it now, but these feelings of hurt and anger won’t last forever. However, making it through the healing journey takes time and effort.
Remember to give yourself some grace: You didn’t cause the problem and you’re doing your best to get through it.
Follow the above tips and take some time to nurture yourself – You deserve it!
Have you ever been cheated on? How did you make it through? Let us know in the comments!