If you marry someone with children, that generally isn’t a legal problem. However, stepparents can face certain legal issues, of which you should be aware.

This post will explain legal issues associated with stepparenting in U.S. law. While the law is similar in different U.S. states, there are some important differences. Consult an attorney in your state for more complete information.

If your spouse has children by a previous marriage or relationship, then there is likely a custody case in court. If a custody order has already been entered, either parent may ask the court to modify the custody order.

Don’t Cause Your Spouse to Lose Custody

There have been many cases where a stepparent’s behavior causes their spouse to lose custody, or to have their visitation restricted. Don’t let this happen to your spouse!

Tip # 1: Don’t get involved in the conflict between your spouse and the other parent.

You may think that you are helping your spouse if you get involved in the conflict between them and the other parent, but trust me, you’re only hurting your spouse.

The child is your spouse’s child, not yours, and courts expect your spouse to work out disputes with the other parent on their own.

If you get involved in issues between your spouse and the other parent, the court will likely see you as a source of conflict.

Courts often award custody of a child to the parent who is the least contentious, and, if a court sees you as a source of contention, the court will likely take custody away from your spouse.

Tip # 2: Don’t place your spouse in a position where they have to choose you over their children.

Your spouse’s children should come first. If they have to choose you over their children, a court will think that they are not devoted to their children, and may deprive your spouse of custody.

Tip # 3: Don’t expose the children to drugs, alcohol, pornography, domestic abuse, or anything else unsavory.

This should be obvious, but a family attorney will tell you that there are stepparents who expose children to drugs, alcohol, pornography, and domestic abuse.

If there are unsavory influences in the home, a court will see those influences as a reason to deprive a parent of custody. You don’t want to be the reason that your spouse loses custody of their kids.

Stepparent Adoption

You may be able to adopt your stepchildren if:

• The children’s biological parent consents
• The children’s biological parent is deceased
• The children’s biological parent has had their parental rights terminated, or
• A court finds that the children are eligible for adoption without the consent of the biological parent.

In many states, for a court to find that a child is eligible for adoption without a biological parent’s consent, the court must find that the parent has failed to maintain a relationship with the child, the parent has not paid child support, or that the parent has committed some serious crime.

The criteria for adoption without consent are different in every state.

Conclusion

Many children, and many parents, live in blended families. If you use common sense, a stepfamily doesn’t have to cause legal nightmares. Play your cards right, and you’ll be a help and support, and not a hindrance, to your spouse.

Author Bio

Attorney Kyle Persaud is the founder of Persaud Law Office based in Bartlesville, OK. Kyle has years of experience assisting the residents of Bartlesville in a variety of legal matters including family law, civil law, and immigration. Mr. Persaud holds a B.A. from Oklahoma Wesleyan University, and a J.D. from the University of Tulsa College of Law.